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I've Loved These Days

2009-05-03T17:00:00.044-04:00

Chinese New Year

"No, Floyd. No, Floyd!"

When I asked her if she wanted a sip of my smoothie, I didn't think she'd slam the rest of it.

Happy Birthday to me!

Uncle D and Nana!

I fit perfectly on top of Mommy's baby bump!

Oh, I wanted this!

"Whoa, Grammy, this is a good one!!!"

Oy...opening all these presents is exhausting. When do we do cake?

I don't have time for a fork. I need to just use my hands to shove it in.

Ever since I was around 19 or 20 years old, I have always considered "I've Loved These Days," by Billy Joel, to be the representative song for my life. I'm assuming that everyone has at least one song that sums up their life and for me "I've Loved These Days" is it.

It came on my IPOD when I was walking Floyd this morning and I realized that although it may lend itself more towards the years before Cody, Frankie and even Floyd, there are still several parts that presently remain true--namely, the title.

Frankie just recently turned two-years-old (she loves to tell you that if you ask her) and as I look back on our brief time with her, there are already a montage of memories and experiences to behold. Some are sad, some are scary, some are funny, some are triumphant and some are frustrating, but there is one common thread that not only holds all of the memories together-- it has also led us to the following conclusion:

The kid we picked up is not the same kid that is living with us today.

I'm not sure when it happened, or how it happened, but I dare anyone to disagree that Ms. Frankie Jade Coden has become a product of her parents. She is us. She is a complete and total mixture of her father and myself. It is absolutely uncanny. In fact, she is MORE than us. She is amplified and she is overemphasized. She is actually an exaggerated version of us.

For example, When I walk through the mall, I usually have a smile on my face and my eyes are constantly moving so I don't miss anything. When Frankie walks through the mall, she has no trouble keeping up with me and she has the same smile on her face, but she has to take it to the exteme. She has to wave and say"Hi" to everyone who passes by like she is the Ambassador of Somerset Mall, she has to go into each and every store, and she has to keep her sunglasses on because, well... I don't really know why she has to keep her sunglasses on, but she does.

What else? Oh, there's more...

It is no secret to anyone who knows me that I love cake. Frankie doesn't just love it, she lives for it. Cake trumps everything. I know, I know--who doesn't like cake? BUT, besides me, I don't really know of anyone who loses complete and total focus when cake is in the vicinity. If we prompt "Who wants cake?" It is undoubtedly my kid who yells "Me!!!!" the loudest. She is either first in line or the first one at the table, impatiently waiting for her cake--and if there is ice cream to go with it, all the better. What's more, since she is invariably the first one to finish, she has no shame about going right up to the hostess, plate in hand, and saying "I...want... sum... moah... cake... pahleez." And, really, who can refuse that?

It's like I birthed her. I can't even believe I didn't. And she's not just mine--she's Cody's too:

It kills me when Cody pulls out the CD of all the different bugles from camp and we play the morning wake-up "Reveille" call. Frankie goes crazy. She starts dancing and going nuts. She was only there one summer and camp is IN HER. It's in her like it's in her daddy. It's a natural fit, for both of them. Cody has been singing "Friends and Taps" before we put her to bed most nights and we realized last night that she is actually starting to learn the words.

There is no shortage of self confidence in Frankie and it's very rare that we see a shy or sad side. She is a happy, funny, bright, resilient and well-adjusted kid who is living and loving her life. She wakes up in a good mood every morning excited for what her new day will bring. It's infectious. I'm so proud of who she is and I'm constantly amazed by something new every day. There are parts of me that wish I could bottle and preserve her because I can't imagine her being more fun than she is right now.

Am I going to miss the carseats and diapers? No, but I will miss the "OK, Mah-mee!" when I ask her to throw something out, put something back or throw her sippy in the sink... Am I going to miss the backaches that come from bending over at bathtime? No, but I will miss when the frequent trips that Frankie makes to the junk drawer, pulling out Snickers or Kit Kats at 7:30 A.M. and saying "These??" and me replying: "No, silly goose! It's 7:30 in the morning. You don't need candy at 7:30 in the morning! Go put those back, please" and she laughs while repeating "No, silly goose..." and puts the candy bar away, but quickly bounces back with a big smile, a sucker or a bag of chips pleading: "These??" ...Am I going to miss "I want Barney!" 20 times a day? No, but I will miss how much I love hearing her say "Thank you!" to anyone who gives her something and "Bye, see-ya!" to anyone who will listen as we are leaving. She is sweet and she is scrumptious and she makes everyone around her feel special.

I love the "Master of Obvious" role she has taken on as of late. "That's a flower! That's a mailbox! That's a doggie! That's an apple!" It's not unusual for us to tell her something once and she will remember it and point it out when we see it again. I have no idea if that is normal, and I really don't care because to me, it's amazing. It's all just amazing.

It has been some kind of ride with Frankie Jade and I can't wait to see how the road unfolds when Kid 2 comes to town next month. I'm hoping, as the big sister, that she helps teach the little one how to behave and communicate much in the same way Floyd has helped teach Frankie how to be "nice, nice" and say "I'm sorry."

There's no sense in speculation because, naturally, only time will tell what's in store for our family. I'm quite confident, however, that we will live through many, many more rough patches and long nights, hysterical moments and family jokes, awe-inspiring incidents and parental scares-- but for now I can honestly say, without reservation or hesitation, that I have really and truly loved these days.

Bye, Jangles

2009-01-26T22:14:00.005-05:00

Frankie and Grampa Jimmy at this past Thanksgiving

There was no bigger fan of Frankie's blog than Frankie's Grampa Jimmy. He would check every day to see if I made a new entry. If I did--he always had a positive comment for me. If I didn't-- he wanted to know when I was going to write one. We spent a lot of time with Jimmy and Frankie loved and cherished every minute. So did Jimmy. He would drop anything for her...even a Pistons or Red Wings game, and I defy you to find me a bigger sports fanatic than Jimmy. Although he
saw Frankie quite often, he never got enough of her so frequent phone calls and blog check-ins helped fill the gaps on days he was not with us.

Unfortunately, he is no longer with us at all.

We lost Jimmy, very unexpectedly, on January 18th. We were not prepared and we had no idea it was coming. It just came, and now Grampa Jimmy is gone. We were robbed of one of the greatest, kindest, sweetest men this earth will ever know and we all miss him terribly.

It has been said that over 700 people showed up for Jimmy's funeral. Everyone, EVERYONE liked Jimmy. When I showed Frankie his obituary picture and asked "who is that?" Frankie exclaimed "Gampa!" It is very important to me that Frankie remembers her Grampa's happy face, how special he was, and how lucky we were to have him in our lives.

I said a few words at his funeral and I hope that when Cody publishes this installment of blog entries for Frankie, the words will help preserve her Grampa Jimmy's memory:

When my mom called me on Saturday to let me know that Jimmy was in ICU, I instantly started preparing for the worst. My initial thoughts went to my mom. My mom and Jimmy had the best marriage ever. What was SHE going to do if he didn't make it? They did everything together from running our family business to Saturdays at Trader Joes. My mom...I was so worried about my mom. It didn't, however, take long for me to abandon my mother's prospective situation because I suddenly realized I had something else to concern myself with: ME. It was, after all, Jimmy who always said: "It's Robyn's world--the rest of us just live in it."

If something happened to Jimmy, what would happen to ME?

This man was not like a father to me, he WAS a father to me. What in the world was I supposed to do without Jimmy?

I have spent almost every day for the past 10 years with Jimmy. We worked together, we had lunch together-- we even liked each other enough to do social things together not because we had to, but because we WANTED to. He loved hanging out at my house playing with Frankie, watching sports with Cody, or giving Floyd doggie treats he did not need that he thought I didn't know about.

We spent a lot of time with my mom and Jimmy because they were fun. Jimmy made everything fun. Holidays, road trips, fundraisers--even my mom was more fun (not that you're not fun, Mom, but well, you're not "Jimmy fun.") Yes, we bickered off and on, but we never once had a fight outside of our OSU/UofM rivaly which was just stupid because... well, I'm not going to slam Jimmy's team because he's not here to defend them but I'll just say 42-7 and be done with it.

I wish I could say that Jimmy made me a better person, but he didn't. He loved me, embraced me and laughed at me for EXACTLY who I am, and to me--that is even better. I recently started seeing him do the same for my daughter, Frankie. He and my mom babysat for Frankie quite a bit and I always loved coming home to hear his commentary from his evening with my girl.

I realized the last time they babysat that Jimmy was starting to talk about Frankie the same way he would talk about me, with love in his heart and pride in his eyes. He was also very excited about Kid 2 coming in June and I'm so SO sad that she is is going to miss out on knowing how warm and amazing her grandpa was...but at least she'll never have to know just how hard it is to lose him.

Bye, Jimmy Angles. We miss you terribly.

Better Late Than Never!

2009-01-12T17:02:00.040-05:00

I love Mommy's shoe and purse tree. Is this present for me?

Frankie's ornament on Andy and Angela's tree. So cute...

Frankie's first tree: Andy and Angela Stevers' House

Back off, Daddy. I can do it.

What in the world are these supposed to be?

Theresa and Jeff Mazur's party: When is Santa going to call my name?

"Ho Ho Ho! Hello, Frankie! Santa has been informed
that you have a new address this year!"

*Santa was being played by Grampa Jimmy--Frankie had no idea

Did I make this? It's good!

I love this organic tea set that Uncle Fun got me.

He is SO green!!

"Whoa...bowling!"

More clothes? Another jacket? This must be from Mommy...

More cool toys...I will rule at basketball.

That was fun. I got a lot of good stuff. Is there anything else?

Frankie had a very eventful holiday season. People were in and out of the house most nights just visiting, playing games, having dinner or hanging out. It's my favorite time of the year and I'd venture to say that Frankie had as much fun as I did.

My girlfriend Theresa throws a great XMAS party during the holiday season. This was the first year that we got to bring a kid (probably because it's the first year we had one). There has never been a year that she didn't have a Santa at her party. This year, however, she had some trouble finding one. Thankfully, Grandpa Jimmy not only has a Santa costume, but he comes equipped with his very own elf and many years of "HO HO HO" experience. He was brilliant (especially for a Jewish guy) and Frankie had no idea it was her Grandpa. I actually forgot myself for awhile.

As a kid growing up, there was nothing better than lighting the candles and getting a present (or two) every night after dinner on Hanukkah. Several days before the holiday started my mom would stack all the colorfully wrapped Hanukkah presents under the table in our living room. I loved seeing all those presents-- and I do love presents. My brother and I would sniff around to see which ones were ours and sometimes I would, very carefully, pull the tape from one or two if I was very curious. Come on--I had to know if I was getting my Guess jeans or my ESPRIT sweatshirt! (I don't do that anymore).

For the past few years, Cody, Floyd and I have been opening all of our presents on XMAS morning. We get up very early, make coffee and go to town. This year, even with the addition of Ms. Asian persuasion, was no different. Yes, we are still Jews and yes, we still light the Hanukkah candles and say the prayers, but I have learned something very valuable in my many years of being Jewish: Hanukkah is great...except for one or two of the eight nights.

There are inevitably one or two nights of Hanukkah that honestly kind of suck. They usually fall on nights five and six and we Jews commonly refer to those nights as "Sock Night." You may not actually get socks, but whatever it is that you get, it's always kind of lame. Let's face it--eight nights of awesome presents can get pretty expensive; "Sock Nights" have been built in to save parents from financial ruin. If, however, you open all of your presents on one day, then the totally awesome presents are balanced out by the unpreventable crappy presents and instead of being disappointed on the one or two unavoidable Hanukkah "Sock Nights"-- we instead have one morning full of fun and one bag full of wrapping paper.

That is what we did this year. I can't say that we'll do that forever, especially as Frankie and "Kid 2" get older, but for now--for us-- it's the way to go and we love it.

Mommy-isms (Just a few)

2008-12-27T19:14:00.025-05:00

I'll have to have my secretary get back to you.

I love my Uncle Fun!

These chairs really should be in the kitchen...

The "Fray J Squat" dance move

Hey, where did my balloon go? I've been robbed!

In the last few days, I have bounced some child rearing questions off some of my girlfriends, and after brief discussions with all of them, here is what I have come up with:

Mommy-ism #1:
Unless your instinct says it's a real problem, we need not stress about progress--and we definitely shouldn't compare our kids to other kids. Easier said than done? Probably, but look around...how many adults do you see out there who are still crawling, eating their boogers or throwing food? (Fraternity boys are exempt as an answer--and it's a rhetorical question anyway).

Mommy-ism #2:
I told my friend Liz that I was a little worried that Frankie wasn't doing everything that she should be doing as listed in the What To Expect: The Toddler Years book. We spoke at length and concluded that although Frankie (at 20 mos) can not presently throw a ball underhand, she can, on the other hand, recite the entire "ABC" song so that still makes her brilliant and I'm not going to read that book anymore.

Mommy-ism #3:

Abbey and I have decided that if your child is crying incessently for some unknown reason (and you have confirmed that she is safe, changed, fed, not sick or harming herself) it's OK to turn off the monitor for a bit. I won't tell anyone and I promise that not only will she not hold it against you years from now, but she won't remember in the morning.

Mommy-ism #4:

We are doing fine as parents. We aren't perfect and we make mistakes-- but on balance, we are doing fine. My friend Patti and I have decided that many parents WAY dumber than us have managed to raise kids who can color in the lines and eat with a fork and spoon, so I'm pretty confident that we will get there as well.

Riddle me this...

2008-12-10T21:16:00.010-05:00

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

I'm pregnant.

It was October 23rd and were having a nice, family dinner at home. I thought it was the perfect time to attempt another discussion about KT (Kid 2). Cody was vehemently opposed the first few times I brought up the subject of a second child because he was very content with just Frankie. He would say things like: "Why do you want a second when Frankie is so awesome? There is no way we will get this lucky again."

This last time I brought it up, however, he permitted me to plead my case.
I was good.
This is what I came up with:

1. I was not put on this earth to entertain Frankie. She needs a sibling.
His response: "What else you got?"

2. I can't imagine not having my brother to turn to when I need to complain about my parents. (Sorry, Mom and Dad. You know we love you, but sometimes we need to vent). Let's face it, no one-- and I mean NO ONE-- knows your parents like a sibling. There is going to come a day, inevitably, when Frankie is going to need a sibling who will really understand when she is seething mad at her Daddy, or when she has just had it with his idiosyncrasies. (She won't complain about Mommy though, Mommy is flawless).
His response to that one: "Umm...anything else?"

3. (This is where I got him). We're not that young now and I don't think it's fair that Frankie is going to have to deal with us all by herself when we're old bags of $hit.

It was a lock. I had him.
Now we just had to figure out what our next move was.

Did we want to adopt from China again? YES
Do we have 3-4 years to wait for a kid? NO.
Do we want to get on that roller coaster again? Not particularly.

How about adopting domestically or fostering to adopt? Hmm...both definite options... but then Cody blindsided me with a very interesting proposition:

"If we're going to do the infant thing this time around, why don't we just have one?"
I honestly hadn't though of that. At least not for awhile, but it was an option. A viable option. I knew I could probably do it and that everything down south was in working order, I just hadn't really considered it since Frankie. I honestly assumed we'd adopt again because our experience thus far has been so great, but what the hell? Why not? I'll try almost anything once. I was in. Let's give it a whirl.

We had no idea I was already preggo. That actually made the "trying" part kind of easy. I figure that because our China wait was so much longer than we had anticipated, this time we didn't have to wait at all. Oh, is that not how it works? Well, whatever--it made sense at the time.

Interestingly enough, things seem to have come full circle for the Coden family. Our original plan (some years ago) was to "have one and then adopt one, " and we tried--albeit for only three months-- but we did try. I'm not the most patient of people so when we decided it was time to start our family, I went see a fertility doctor. (Why not speed up the process?) We went to the doctor, I sort of lied and told him that we'd been "trying" for a year-- (OK, so it had only been three months, what's the difference?) he put me on some fertility drugs, I tried them for a few months, I got nothing.

During that time, I kept whining and talking about a baby girl in China and Cody eventually acquiesced saying we could start adoption proceedings. That was that. I was on a mission. In retrospect, it's a good thing we adopted first because the wait now is so long we probably never would have made it, or even tried. Frankie, you could have had a completely different life! Too bad...you're with us now, kid-- and if all goes well, you're going to have a little baby brother or sister to terrorize at the end of June.

Oh, and if you could wipe your dirty, sticky hands on that kid instead of me, I'd really be great with that.

The Return of Frankie...

2008-12-03T15:49:00.024-05:00

Whoa...who said Puppa Steve could wear that stuff in our house?

Did someone say "tongue?" Here's mine!

I'll do a few photos with the hat and then it's coming right off!!

Um...I think the tights are supposed to go
OVER the spanky part of the skirt.
Oh well, I guess that's what happens when mommy lays the clothes
out and daddy dresses me. Go daddy!

"Hi, Floyd!! Hi, Floyd!! Hi, Floyd!!"

My first time ever seeing snow. I'm way into it.

It has come to my attention that Mommy hasn't sat down and written about me in quite awhile. I think it's been almost a month. That is unacceptable. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't she supposed to be using this blog as a vehicle to document my assimilation, growth and general awesomeness so I can, in turn, read all about myself one day? Looks to me like she dropped the ball. Whatever. Who needs her? I'll do it myself.

I'd like to open with a few comments about the OSU-UofM game of 2008. The Wolverines got crushed. It wasn't pretty. They got sent home in a bus that that reeked of 42-7. I would like to go to OSU. I think I can be a cheerleader. I look good in the outfit. It does not make me very happy that the stock market is in the toilet because every time Daddy opens up an envelope with a statement in it, he pronounces something negative about where my college money has gone. That is very bad. Out-of-state tuition is not cheap. Things better start looking up soon.

Right after "The Big Game" came Thanksgiving. It was at our house. We had 27 people over. It was awesimo. Mommy spent three nights getting the house ready. Daddy did a lot of schlepping--he had to bring in all the tables, chairs and "China." (That's funny to me..."China") Mommy went all Martha Stewart on the house so when she was done it looked like pilgrams exploded and pumpkins and gourds popped out. I saw her in our great room quite a bit fussing over everything. I think she is a little cuckoo about things being perfect.

Mommy and Daddy were pretty good about keeping the doors to the great room closed but on the Wednesday morning before Thanksgiving they forgot. I went in there and pulled on one of the tablecloths. THEY FREAKED. It was so funny. Daddy took me out of there and I went kicking and screaming. I wanted to play with the tablecloth and the China. (China...hee hee). I even threw a little tantrum. Nothing like some tantrum action at 7:30 in the morning. Daddy offered me one of my cell phones that they pretend is real and told me to file a complaint. So you know what? I did. I took that fake phone and I called a fake person and I walked all over the kitchen complaining about how much my Mommy and Daddy suck because they wouldn't let me play with the tablecloths and China. They didn't know what I was saying because I coded everything in gibberish, but I said some pretty bad things about them. They tried to get me to drink my bottle after that and I didn't do it. I may only be 19 months old but I know how to stand up for convictions.

Thanksgiving turned out to be a really fun night (once I freed myself from the hat Mommy made me wear). I had a blast with everyone and got lots of attention. Daddy made a nice toast to Mommy and included me because he thinks I'm great. We all partied and played and pretty much ate like we were going to "The Chair" the next day. I got to go to bed at 9:00. I also got to skip brushing my teeth. Rock star living.

I'm at a really fun age right now. I never shut up though and no one knows what I'm saying most of the time. I'm on the phone a lot and for now my conversations go pretty much like this: "Gibberish, gibberish, gibberish..." Pause for response from fake person and then I almost always conclude by saying "Bye" right before I flip the phone shut. I'm corgial like that. I love talking on the phone. I have unlimited minutes. What's your number? I'll call you.

I don't only speak gibberish. I say a lot of real words too. Following are the words I probably use the most: Hot Dog, Woah, Doggie, Up, Down, Phone, Keys, More, ByeSeeYa (all one word), Hi, Open, Close, Off, Yes, No, Shoes, Socks, Bottle, Banana, Apple (which I do with a French accent) and Let's go!!! (It's really cute when I do that one, people love it--it's a real crowd pleaser). My latest favorites are "Hi, Floyd!" and "Please" which comes out more like "peas" but no one can resist me when I say it and I get what I want about 85% of the time. Not too bad.

I know where my bellybutton, eyes, nose, hair, head, feet and ears are. I can say them out loud too (except bellybutton--that one is kind of hard to say). Nana taught me where my tongue is and I love when people ask me about it because it gives me an excuse to stick my tongue out. Sometimes when I'm doing something I shouldn't, Mommy will tell me to "Stop it" and instead of doing so, I just repeat "Stop it." I'm so mature, don't you think?

I can take a napkin and wipe my own face and when I'm done eating I smack my hands and say "All done!" How great is that? When I pet Floyd, sometimes I say "Nice...nice..." to prove that I'm petting him nicely. I'm VERY into Floyd right now. I ask for him when I wake up and as soon as we pull onto our street. One time we were at the grocery store and we walked by some toilet paper with a picture of a Golden Retriever on it. When I saw the doggie, I exclaimed "Floyd!" Mommy and Daddy were dying. Mommy started to tear up a little bit. She's weird like that sometimes.

I know almost all the words to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and I'll join in anytime you feel like singing it. I can also do some of the "ABC song" but I'm a little lost as to the meaning of that one. I like the tune though and I've noticed Mommy thinks it keeps me from squirming when she's changing my dipe so I humor her...sometimes.

I guess that's enough about me. At least for now.

ByeSeeYa!

Puzzles

2008-11-11T13:09:00.034-05:00

We are back from our fall weekend Up North.

The air at camp was crisp, clean and clear while the leaves were falling in the most striking and vibrant colors of crimson, butternut and pumpkin. The Michigan fall season is caramel apples, fresh donuts, apple cider and college football. I love it--especially Up North.

Our road trip was pretty typical (Floyd freaking, music blaring and Cracker Barrel stopping) except that Frankie kind of sucked. She whined and cried for most of the trip. It was distressing and nerve wracking--and honestly, quite annoying. We went through the "Do you think it's..." and "It could be..." while stopping briefly on "I wonder if she has..." and "It's definitely not..." My best one (as far as I'm concerned) was when I concluded that she might have been experiencing some growing pains because that same morning I went through three freakin' pairs of pants before I found some that weren't fitting like Michael Jackson's "Beat It" floods. (Remember those?)

Several hours of crying and one speeding ticket later, we finally arrived at camp where we spent the weekend hanging out, reading books and magazines, watching bad movies, taking walks, eating spears at G's (you camp people know what I'm talking about) and shopping in Traverse City.

Frankie had a great time wherever she was, no matter what she was doing...except in the car. UGH. Such a pain because there aren't too many destinations that are super close to camp. Part of what makes the weekend trips to camp so great is driving to surrounding cities like Kalkaska, Elk Rapids, Charlevoix, Petosky or Traverse City and seeing all the beautiful fall foliage. The only thing that can ruin that is hmmm....I don't know, oh wait--yes, I do! How about a Frankie freak-out in the back seat complete with whining and crying for absolutely NO APPARENT REASON!!

All was certainly not lost over the weekend. Not by a long shot. We had a great time in spite of the brutal car rides and I learned a few things that I packed up and took home with me: I learned that size 3 diapers can no longer hold Frankie's "overnight pee," I learned that there is nothing better than strawberry milk from Shetland's Dairy Farm (if I had larger veins and didn't hate needles, I would mainline the stuff) and I learned that playing with Frankie's toys makes me feel really smart. There was this one puzzle that she was into all weekend. I rocked at it. I have no trouble putting the tree in the "tree opening" of the puzzle, and I also did it with the apple, the bee and the flower. Frankie tried to put all four in the same opening. Nope. Try again, sister. Don't think I didn't shoot her the "I'm a smartie" look more than a few times when we were playing. Don't think she cared.

It's still a mystery to us what was up with Frankie and her car aversion all weekend. It was a puzzle I couldn't (and likely never will) figure out. We tried everything. We took her coat off thinking it would make her more comfortable, we fed her endless snacks, we sang "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" 1500 times...We did all the stuff good parents do but nothing seemed to help, at least not for an extended period of time. I felt like we were trying to put the tree, the apple, the bee and the flower all in the same opening. Her backseat bawling was an enigma and if she wasn't totally fine every single time we pulled her out of the car, I probably would have been really worried.

I had such anxiety on Saturday night about the trip home on Sunday. Three hours of crying to look forward to. Awesome. Rockin' ride home. Fun for the whole family. My anguish however, turned out to be all for nought. Frankie was a perfect angel on the way home. She was babbling and laughing in perfect Frankie fashion. I don't get it and at this point, I have resolved that I never will. I guess there are some puzzles that just can't be put together and sometimes you just have to walk away letting go because soon enough there will be another one to figure out.

Trick or Treat!

2008-11-03T21:10:00.030-05:00

I love Halloween.

I have always loved it.

When I was a kid, my mom would decorate our house with paper skeletons and ghosts and all empty bowls would be filled and refilled with candy corn. Since my brother's birthday falls at the end of October, his annual party was--appropriately--a costume party, and that meant I was allowed an extra costume. (Bonus). It was tradition for us to start entertaining costume ideas early in the month. Costumes were a big deal. I have been everything from a clown to an ice skater to a dancer...one year I think I was actually Spiderman. (I'm not really sure what that was all about).

I'm fairly certain my mom no longer has too many of our old Halloween decorations and my brother, now in New York, has likely wrapped up his costume parties-- but that hasn't stopped me from bringing out the bats and plugging in the pumpkins. Homage must be paid.

On October 1st of every year, Cody goes to our storage unit (yes, the Halloween decor is kept in a storage unit) and brings home all the bins, tubs and boxes labeled HALLOWEEN. Our house is then transformed. Cody is in charge of the outside and he does a Halloween scene that can only be rivaled by the holiday window display at Barney's in NYC. The scene surrounding our front door area is classy and festive--even I want to go through the front door instead of the garage, but whatever, I'm lazy so I never do.

The inside is my domain: Halloween Central, USA. Pumpkins, ghosts and goblins...mugs, plates and placemats...candles, soaps and towels...mummies, witches and skeletons...tombstones, tinsel and bats...candy, candy, candy!!! No one enters without stepping on the howling mat, and no one leaves without a goodie bag.

I'm sure my love for Halloween is a direct result of my upbringing and the candy coated memories I continue to cherish. I'm also sure it's not going to fade anytime soon. (The owner of the storage facility should be happy about that). I have to believe that Frankie had a blast this past month with all the holiday traffic in and out of the house and all the partying, cookie decorating, candy eating and dancing she did on the big day. Of course I have no idea if, as an adult, she will love and observe the holiday as I do, and I don't know if she will be sad (or even notice) when she wakes up tomorrow to find that all of the decorations have been taken down and put away--but what I do know is this: There is a bunch of leftover candy in the junk drawer and a ton stashed in the freezer.

I'm going to get some.

Fateful Forecast

2008-10-28T19:51:00.013-04:00

On Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, Frankie goes to daycare from 8:00-3:00. Cody usually takes her and I usually pick her up. When they were leaving this morning, right before they walked out the door, they turned towards me and Cody gently prompted: "Say bye-bye to Mommy." Frankie gave the double backwards wave and said "Bah Bah" in her cute little voice. I replied with "I love you," and Frankie repeated something that sounded like "Ah dah dah." And then they both closed with a new Frankie favorite: the Donnie and Marie Osmond hand-to-mouth "Ummmmmmm-Mwahhhhh!" good-bye kiss, circa 1976-- and Frankie reproduced the act with 1 cup exaggeration and 1 cup grandiosity. It was the perfect way to start the morning. All mornings everywhere should start like that, but they don't, and as far as mine go--as much as I wish they would go on forever like this, I'm no dummy--I know they won't.

Fast forward 15 years.

Frankie is getting ready to leave for school and springs this one on me:

Frankie: Mom... Emma, Isabella and Ethan are going to see the "Blah Blahs" in concert in Ann Arbor. We'll come home the same night. You don't know Ethan but he's super cool and he has a car, can I go?

Me: Um, let me think about that...oh, I just did--NO SHOT.

Frankie: Why not? Their moms are totally letting them go!!! (Probably a lie).

Me: Uh, Why not? Are you kidding? Do you want the first 100 reasons why not or just the top 10?

Frankie: I'm going to ask daddy. You are so mean you never let me do anything! (Also a lie).

Me: I know. Whatever. Drink your orange juice and go to school. Be sure to call your dad.

And then-- right when she is leaving, and she is FOR SURE still mad-- I will grab her attention by calling her name and I will throw down one of those Donny and Marie hand-to-mouth kisses and tell her I love her.

Bring it, Frankie. I'm ready. "Ummmmmmmmmm-Mwah!!!"

Full Circle

2008-10-24T23:00:00.001-04:00

Today was my dad's 65 birthday.

A bunch of us, including Frankie, went out for Chinese food. It was a very special evening not only because we were celebrating a very special birthday for a very special person, but also because we went to the same Chinese place where we used to go every Thursday when I was a kid. This time, however, we brought my kid. It was not Frankie's first time at New Mandarin Garden, (it was actually her third) but it was her first time with my dad--and what better day for her to accompany him than on his birthday?

For many men, the 65th birthday is characterized by prostate issues, medicare eligibility, and hair that no longer threatens to clog the shower drain...but for my father, it was a day stacked with an early morning phone call from Frankie, a "Happy Birthday" message when he swiped his card at the gym, and moo shu chicken.

There aren't too many places around here that hold the same nostalgic memories as New Mandarin Garden. Most of the restaurants from my childhood are long gone and if they're still around, we certainly weren't patronizing them once a week the way we did this one. I love the way it accumulates and stores memories for me, and I love that the interior has been well preserved so Frankie can experience the establishment in the same regard that I did. I love that everyone is so nice to us when we are there, and I love that the food is always stellar. I love that there is never a wait to sit down, and I love the irony of showing up over 25 years later with a daughter from China (Did you think I missed the irony?)

But most of all--I love that I can still go with my Dad. I know we will visit again soon and it will be like old times. We will slide into our old booth, we will dismiss the unnecessary offer of menus, we will swap stories and relive anecdotes, and best of all, we will be joined by the newest member of my father's family, his granddaughter.

It's been 7 months with my family...

2008-10-22T21:26:00.012-04:00

How fast does this car go? Can it get me out of here?
These people are nuts.

OOPSIE!

2008-10-20T17:02:00.008-04:00

Hi Frankie,

It's your parents.

We love you very much, but we blew it.

We are sorry that we didn't know until this morning that you had an ear infection, but you never tugged on your ear or gave us any indication so we didn't even consider it as an option. We're sorry that you spent the weekend in so much pain. We're sorry that we had to give away our Detroit vs NY hockey tickets but it's not like Shanahan is playing for either the Wings or the Rangers right now, so WHATEVER. We're sorry that we were a little relieved when Dr. Molly told us that you had an ear infection because now at least we actually know what is wrong with you. We're sorry that we drugged you up over the weekend, but I have feeling that it probably helped a bit. We're sorry that we're very excited for all of us to hopefully get some sleep tonight even though it was very nice hanging out with you every 2 hours while you were crying and miserable. (That one is kind of a lie, it wasn't really that great hanging out with you when you were like that at 12:30, 3:30 and 6:20 in the morning).

We are sorry that we blew it, Frankie, but it's probably best for you to know this now:

It ain't gonna be the last time.

Love and all the other good stuff that antibiotics bring,

Your parents

Gangsta Teeth

2008-10-18T20:40:00.012-04:00

Ever since Ms. Frankie Jade came on the scene, I have been told of the horrors of teething. I have, at times, dealt with a little dental discomfort on the Frankie front, but I honestly didn't know what the big deal was until today. More specifically-- until 5:30 this morning and it ended...well, it hasn't yet, and I have a feeling we're in for one of those "every-2-hour" kind of nights.

When Frankie woke up wailing at 5:30 this morning, Cody and I initially attributed her discomfort and unrest to all the crap she ate last night. We had the Otis Family over for Friday night dinner and it's no secret that our luck with them hasn't been the best lately (see Oct 6 and Aug 17). Nevertheless, we love them and Frankie had a great time. She played, danced, and laughed and--not long before bedtime--she happily snuck the m&m's my girlfriend, Elise, decided she needed, and also part of a s'more that I know she didn't.

Our gut reaction to the 5:30 "wake and wail" was that Frankie had a tummy ache. Cody was the one that ran to her room and when he came back, he reported that she was a bit warm, but he found no real evidence of fever. In addition, she wasn't pulling on either of her ears, her diaper wasn't full of Friday night's remains, and there was no barfing to speak of. We concluded that we were looking at a tummy ache--completely plausible and no big deal, right? I, for one, get tummy aches all the time from being "overserved" candy, cake and cookies. Frankie's a Coden. A tummy ache on a Friday night (or any night) is nothing new in our house. In fact, it's downright normal and we assumed that when she woke for the day she'd be fine. Not so. She woke again an hour later with that same, heart wrenching wail. Since I never made it back to sleep after the first time Frankie woke, I easily jumped out of bed with quickly moving legs, but also with a slowly sinking heart.

I knew I wasn't going to enter Frankie's room to find the sunny, happy, excited kid I normally find, and I was correct. Poor Frankie was a mess. She was crying hard and big, wet tears were streaming down either side of her face as she sat on her knees and held her arms up to me. No "Hi-eee!!" this morning. No "uppahh" either. Just a lot of crying and raised arms for Mommy. It made me feel very sad to see her like that--and very powerless.

After a few bites of breakfast and a second dismissed bottle of milk, Cody managed to get Frankie down for a short nap before he left for about an hour. After a very short nap, FJ woke up crying just as I was getting out of the shower. (Of course that is when she woke up. Is there ANY OTHER time?) As I held my girl close, clad only in the towel on my head and not much else, I started to worry a bit. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MY GIRL AND FRANKLY, I WAS STARTING TO GET A LITTLE SCARED.

The crying was out of control, like when she fell and hit her head a few weeks ago, but at least then I knew why she was crying. I had no idea what to attribute this to. It was a total mystery and I was (as usual) clueless. I held her and rocked her for a solid hour (still undressed and wishing I had taken a little less time in the shower) before I eventually had my stunning moment of clarity and gave Frankie some Motrin. HEL-LO?? Why did it take me so long to come up with that one? I still don't know! Am I an idiot? I guess so! The Motrin really helped. It was temporary, but it helped.

When Cody came home a short time later, I told him of my discovery and my love affair with Infant Motrin. We thought we were home free because Frankie seemed to be doing a little better, but then, with no warning at all, it wore off! What the...? ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME? This time I was the one out running errands and Cody was home. Cue the wailing and the tears--the Motrin has worn off! When I got home, we discussed all of the possible reasons for Frankie's obvious pain and abnormal behavior and Dummy Mom and Dummy Dad finally uncovered the enigma: Teething.

Who knew? Frankie has a lot of her teeth; in fact she has more than most 18-month-old kids. Who knew that some teeth hurt more than others? Who knew that some were big, bad, mean bullies? Not us, that's for sure. We didn't think teething was that big of a deal. It certainly hasn't been thus far. What do we know though? Pretty much nothing. We're the parents who actually "googled" how to piggyback motrin and tylenol. Yes, that's us.

Holding, rocking and keeping our girl close while doing the motrin and tylenol switch have, for the time being, seemed to help placate the thugs waging war in Frankie's mouth. I have no idea what tonight will bring, but we're putting on our camo and preparing for 2 hour intervals. Whatever happens in our house, at least the Otis Family can sleep well nestled in the comfort of knowing that they are in the clear. Try as we might, there is no way we can pin this one on them.

Afternote: We did consider the booze (and I don't even drink!) But we also considered it for FJ. The problem was, her gums were so irritated that she didn't want us, or anything else, near them. She found the slight Oragel rub and the Motrin/Tylenol cocktails to be so traumatizing that we didn't want to bug her more by rubbing liquor on her gums. Believe me, if I thought it would help after all the other stuff we had done, I would have given her a shot glass full of Whiskey, a straw and her own bartender.

Pointers from The Princess

2008-10-14T13:40:00.004-04:00

Do you guys want to sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider?" I do.

"Down came the rain..."

Sorry, Grampa. I gotta go. I love this song...
and yes, I do need a spoon in each hand to make me dance better.

"Down."
Some Pointers from The Princess:

When I say "Uhpahh!" It means, "Pick me up," and not "I work in Greek Town serving flaming cheese."

On the other hand, "Let's get your coat on" really means "Oh, fun--Mommy is going to play chase with me, and she's going to do all the chasing!"

There is no such thing as too much "Itsy Bitsy Spider." Singing it 50 times a day is not unheard of, and much appreciated by me, The Princess.

"The Itsy Bitsy Spider" serves not only as fun entertainment, but also as a temporary stalling technique and/or reprieve from a potential meltdown or meltdown-in-progress. I actually don't have too many meltdowns because A) It's not in my nature, B) Mommy has no patience for them and C) I'm awesome...but sometimes I sneak one in just to be a toddler. It's my job. I'm sure I'll have more as I get older but until then, keep working the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" angle.

If I'm mad that you took something I don't need away from me, and I decide to pull your hair, you're not teaching me anything by pulling mine in return. I don't care if you're not pulling hard. I am the toddler. I do the pulling.

You know how in Synagogue no one is allowed to leave the room when the Torah is out? Well, that's how it is when the "Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog" song is on. No one moves except to dance until the song is over. No exceptions.

Sometimes I still like to poop in the tub. It's not a pointer. Just a fact.

I'm 18 months old and it's still not a good move to put a barrette or clip in my hair. I will take it out when you're not paying attention and I will put it in my mouth.
You'll have a "Mommy feeling" that I took it out, quickly glance at my head and, as expected, you will find it missing. You will then have a total freak-out. (Note: The "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song does not work with Mommy freak-outs.) Your heart will beat very fast because you're scared that I swallowed it (I didn't). You'll then lodge a finger in my mouth, grab the clip and sigh with relief because it is now safely in your hand and not in my throat. I will then smile one of my huge Frankie smiles (completely unaffected by the recent exchange) and say "Hi--eee." I had no intention of swallowing the clip-- I'm not an idiot--but you might want to take a moment and ask yourself if the clip in my hair is really worth it.

Throwing bath toys out of the tub is great. I know I'm getting water everywhere. I know the bath toys belong in the tub. I know it annoys the hell out of you. I don't care because it's great. You can beg, you can plead and and you can order me can order me to STOP until you are blue in the face. I don't care because it's great. I love to throw bath toys. It's great.

Please don't mistake my amazing napping and sleeping habits as doing you any favors. I'm just tired. I am completely aware of what a great sleeper I am. I will, in the future, be keeping you and Daddy up all night when my boyfriend (the one with the tattoos and piercings) comes to pick me up and I break curfew because Mommy pissed me off two weeks before by grounding me for taking her car without asking.

Off white is not the color I would have chosen for a new coat, Mommy, but you bought it anyway. I'd like to wish you lots of good luck with that. Daddy and I have an over-under on how long you go before I trash it.

Tootle-ooh.
FJC

Hello....?

2008-10-10T17:13:00.014-04:00

I need to make a call...

I'm dialing...

Hello, President Bush? Nice Work.
Things are lookin' real good out there!
I have to go call my new friend Lily now.
Bye.

In about 2 seconds, Lily, Rachel and Mommy will be
chasing me around this restaurant.

You can hold my hand-but you can't hold me down, sister!

Now, I don't have any idea who she's talking to...it could be her beloved Aunt Nancy who gave her the fashionable, pink cell phone-- it could be her new best friend, (and mine) Lily, who recently came to visit from Virginia... it could be freakin' "Hello Kitty" for all I know. What I do know is that my girl is all about the phone. "Blah Blah Blah" all day long. Yesterday she asked me for a text messaging package. I told her I would happy to oblige but good luck texting the following conversation that plays out in our house about 100 times a day:

Me or Cody: Ring Ring. Ring Ring! Hello? Oh, hi. You're looking for Frankie? Ok, hang on...Frankie!! It's for you!! (Hand phone to Frankie).

Frankie: Vos du? Abatahanee! (Throws phone)

Me or Cody: (Pick up phone). Hello? Hi! Frankie it's for you. (Hand phone to Frankie).

Frankie: Betasee Badu? Abaduwee. Gluh Gluh. Anatubah Dawah. Oh...Aratabee Noee. Bah!(Throws phone).

Me or Cody: (Pick up phone). Hello? Hold on. (Hand phone to Frankie).

Frankie: (Looks at the phone and shakes her head "No." --Whoever she was talking to must have really made her mad).

Me or Cody: No phone?

Frankie: (Takes phone and throws it).

Good thing we have phone insurance.

Night Moves

2008-10-06T20:13:00.011-04:00

My girl has moves.

She does the "Frankie 2 Step" which is kind of a side-to-side move that she will perform to almost any song that comes on, and she also has a move I commonly refer to as the "Fray J Squat." That one is pretty self explanatory.

Until last night I assumed those moves would reign supreme in her dance move arsenol. Until last night I figured she was set until, inevitably, many years from now when she brings said moves to a gay bar dance floor (they play the best dance music) and Nelly Ripa bitch slaps her with a rainbow flag and 3 snaps in a circle. Until last night, those were the best moves she had.

Last night Frankie came up with the move of all moves.

We were having dinner at The Otis' house and this time, instead of me hitting Randy's car--Frankie hit the floor. It all happened very quickly. One minute everyone was laughing and having a good time (including Frankie who now sees fit to laugh at everything everyone else laughs at even though she has no idea what she is laughing at) and then she fell. She fell fast. Real fast. She fell faster than our stock portfolio.

It was one of the scariest moments of my life.

Frankie was in a booster seat hooked up to a chair that was about 4 feet tall. She fell far... and then she hit hard and cried hard. She cried for a long time. I keep replaying her little head hitting the tile over and over again. It's like a bad movie that won't end. Usually FJ has very quick recovery but this time she cried and cried and cried. We held her until she would ask for the other and then we would switch. It was heartbreaking. We were helpless. I held it together until she started throwing up, and then I started crying too. My girl was really hurt and really scared. I was scared too. Everyone was.

Cody, my hero, naturally kept his wits about him. He took control and got us to the hospital. It was the longest ride ever. When we got there, Cody dropped us off at the ER entrance and I could barely communicate to the lady at the reception desk why we were there. I was a mess. While we were waiting, it didn't take long before FJ was walking around saying "Hi--eee" like everything was OK... and that's when I knew that everything would be.

Frankie is fine and acting totally and completely like herself. I have a feeling that won't be our last visit to the Emergency Room but I also hope we don't get VIP cards. I don't think she has any recollection of last night but I really have no idea. She babbles all the time now and though she could be complaining about not getting dessert at the Otis' house, she could just as easily be complaining about how poorly we were treated at the hospital. I guess we'll never know and you know what--that's OK. Everything is OK and I'm just fine with that.

Fat Lip Friday

2008-09-29T15:21:00.013-04:00

Frankie gave me a fat lip on Friday.

It was really sexy.

She never really apologized but, don't worry, I soothed the pain with a bunch of brownie batter.

Fridays are my day with Frankie. I don't go to work. I work from home if necessary, but for the most part Frankie and I spend the day together. We shop, we run errands, we meet up with friends for lunch, we play. It's always a fun day.

This past Friday we had plans to go to lunch for my cousin Shelly's birthday. Shelly and I are very close so I had been looking forward to it for awhile. My mom, Shelly's mom, and my other cousin, Carol, all went and everyone loves Frankie so I knew it was going to be a fun lunch. Frankie goes out for lunch and dinner quite a bit so I had no doubt she'd be awesome at the restaurant. I was half right.

Frankie was in no mood for a nap that morning, but I wasn't really worried because there are lots of times when she doesn't feel like taking her morning nap and she is totally fine. Not long before we left, we were in my bathroom so I could get dressed but when I placed my hairbrush on the vanity, Frankie decided she wanted it. Since there was no time to play with the brush, I took it away and put it in a drawer --Frankie went cuckoo bananas. I contemplated calling an exorcist while I stood there waiting for her head to spin around. I had no idea why taking the brush away would set her off so much. I wanted no part it though and I sincerely hoped she wasn't looking for me to engage. It's a hair brush. I gave her a look that could only be translated to "you're a total freak" before scooping her up, telling her to "get over it," and putting her in the car for our lunch.

As I loaded Little Ms. Meltdown into the car, I mentally went to a place in my head where I store a list of things I need for Frankie on our trips away from home. I like to refer to this list as "Frankie's Crap." While I went through my list, Frankie was happily jamming to Kenny Chesney in the back seat. It seemed the "Hairbrush Incident of 2008" was forgotten.

We got to lunch and everything seemed fine. Frankie and I were the first to arrive so we were the first to learn that we were awarded the same waiter I had just a few days earlier when I was there with my new friend and pediatrician extraordinaire, Molly. Does this matter? Yes. Why? As I'm sure Molly would agree, he is quite the hottie. While my mom and the rest of the party showed up, Frankie was laughing and having a great time. When our waiter approached the table and she got a good look at him, she forgot about us and quickly moved on to shamelessly hitting on him. She even tried to take his apron off! (Jeez, Frankie...get a room... or join a Sorority).

I don't know if it was because she didn't get her nap, my hair brush, or if it was because our waiter told her she was a little young for him, but all of the sudden she went Sybil on me and started to turn...fast. She didn't want anymore of the food I brought for her or the food at the table; she didn't want the warm bread in the basket or the glass of water I offered her. My mom took her for a outside for walk to get her out of the restaurant, but when they came back FJ had to go back in the high chair and she clearly had reservations about that. This anticipated fun and relaxing lunch was quickly becoming slightly stressful. Frankie was squirming around in her high chair and I thought she was going to fall out of it so I decided it was my turn to take her for a little walk. I picked her up and (SHOCKER) she said "Down." (What else is new?) Ok, fine--I'll let you walk.

She did her "drunken sailer" walk through the restaurant, through the bar area, and through the tables that lead to the outdoor tables. I caught up with her outside only to find her stopped at a table of three men. She smiled at one of the guys and threw out one of her Frankie "Hi-eee's." The guy scooped her up after he asked me if it was OK and she stared at him for approximately 3 seconds before she proceeded to go into their bread basket and take a piece of their bread! She didn't want our bread. She must only like bread surrounded by testosterone, I don't know. After she took their bread, she looked at the guy again and exclaimed "Down!"

When we got back to our table, Frankie was not swanky--she was cranky. I put her in my lap to soothe her only to have her head butt me from behind and give me a fat lip. I felt like it was at this point that I throw it the towel. It was time to go home.

I had never had an issue with Frankie at a restaurant before. She was always so well behaved and so much fun and quite honestly, it sort of upset me that she was yucky. I took it personally. She's entitled to an off day, I know, but that didn't make me feel any better since I had really been looking forward to that lunch. I left there feeling exhausted, defeated and humbled by the whole experience.

When we got to the car and I got in the driver's seat, I tried to tell Frankie that it's not nice to give Mommy a fat lip and go bonkers in a restaurant. When I turned to see her reaction, I found her fast asleep (or maybe she was faking it so I would shut up). I'll never know. All I know is that the brownies I brought to The Wallers' house that night sucked probably due to the fact that I ate half the batter before they made it to the oven. It wasn't my fault...I needed to soothe my swelling fat lip and my temporarily bruised ego. Brownie batter is really good for that.

When It Rains, It Pours

2008-09-21T17:30:00.003-04:00

Today is Saturday, September 20th and it's Mommy and Daddy's Anniversary. I got up at 5:18 in the morning so now I'm napping and giving them a little time to do their thing. Some parents think their kids are really advanced but compared to me they're not because I can type while napping. Beat that.

Want to know what's going on in my life? I'll tell you. Things are in a bit of disarray at our house right now and I don't like it one bit. I'm none too thrilled with my current living conditions and accomodations, but I know my Daddy and all the workmen are working as fast as possible to get things back to normal for me and Mommy.

Last Friday we went to the suburbs of Chicago with some of our favorite family friends and their kids for a very special weekend. It took all of the families 7 hours to get there. Chicago traffic is stupid. At least we got to stop at Cracker Barrel for lunch. That is one of Mommy's favorite restaurants. She likes it because there is candy and shopping. Daddy says she's "all class." It was my first time there. On our way out, I walked up to a table and hit on a 65-year-old man. He loved me. Before we left, Mommy made Daddy take pictures of us outside the restaurant because she loves it there so much. She is nuts.

When we got to Chicago the traffic was really bad; all the adults were texting each other and everyone was really bummed out. Mommy had to pee so badly that she contemplated using one of my diapers. Daddy said it wouldn't hold all of her pee so she decided to pee in a cup but when a bus pulled up next to us, Daddy told her that they could see in our car so she got stage fright. Mommy decided she needed was better song to "pee to" so Daddy put in a Stones CD and changed the words from "Start Me Up" to "Pee in a Cup." Daddy thought it was funny. I did too. Mommy didn't. She said Daddy was a dummy. I will probably call your kid that one day. Don't get mad at me. It's not my fault. It's my parents and my environment. I'm a sponge.

Our reason for going to Chicago was for a Bat Mitzvah. What's a Bat Mitzvah? I have no idea but there was free food, dancing and everyone thought I was super cute. I even got to go to services. Mommy said I probably wouldn't like services (I guess she doesn't) but I was totally into it. I was dancing in the aisles by myself and no one cared. They loved me. Jews are nice. Mommy and her friend Elise took me and Jessie out of services few times. Mommy thought I was getting something called "schpilkas." I am not positive, but I think that means "ants in your pants" in some language called Yiddish. (Don't get in my diaper if I'm wrong. I am still trying to learn English. When I got here, no one said anything about me having to learn Yiddish too). When the Torah came around, my Papa and Grammy took me to kiss it. I did. I rock at being a Jew.

I had to sleep in a Pack 'n Play at the hotel. Lame. We had a suite but I made a HUGE ruckus when Daddy tried to put me in the Pack 'n Play and leave me in the room by myself. I wasn't into that at all. I did the "I'm really scared" cry and he caved really fast. Mommy was in the lobby with her friends but I know she would have caved too. First of all, we were in a hotel. Second of all, she doesn't like when I cry like that either. It is the one cry I have that makes her sad...and that makes her stressed...and that makes her eat. They resolved to let me sleep in their room for the 2 nights we were there. I got to fall asleep with them in their bed and after they were sure I was really asleep, Daddy would--very gingerly-- lift me up and put me in the Pack 'n Play. One night I moved and made some noise during the transport just to mess with them, but I stayed asleep.

We left for home on Sunday morning and all I knew was that we were going to meet up with the Otis family at Cracker Barrel. Mommy was excited. We had no idea that the trip home was going to take 7 hours again, but this time it was because of rain. HEAVY RAIN. It was rain that didn't stop all weekend in Chicago and apparently, it was doing the same in Michigan. It took us forever to get home. It sucked real bad, but I was a trooper. My parents told me so.

When we got home, beat up and broken down, Mommy went to get Floyd Coden and Daddy found that our house had flooded. The new side of the house. The side of the house with my bedroom, my playroom and my bathroom. My room got it the worst. Daddy was stuck extracting water for most of the night. It was not fun for him. Mommy says that we should be thankful that he is handy and not one of those "nebbishy" Jewish guys who can't do anything around the house, but once again I have no idea what she's talking about because I don't know what "nebbishy" means. One language at a time, lady.

It seems that the private school not far from us has a major problem with their drainage and since the water had no place to go, it decided to come and ruin our house. Mommy has been devastated all week. Daddy has been back and forth from work to home to meet the insurance guys, the work guys, and the guys from the City of Beverly Hills. Mommy says it would be like a porno movie with all these workmen, but so far everyone has kept their clothes on.

Since I'm not allowed to sleep in my room, and all of my furniture has been moved out, I've been sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's room--back in a Pack 'n Play next to Floyd Coden's bed. I think Mommy and Daddy might be bummin' out a little bit that I'm sleeping in there. Yes, I think I have more teeth coming in so I have been waking up 20 times a night coughing or crying in my sleep, but I usually fall right back asleep in 2 seconds. Is it my fault that they can't get back to sleep? Yes, I have been getting up at 5:30 in the morning (I'm not really sure why) but it's probably because the Pack 'n Play mattress blows and someone forgot my Sealy Posturpedic. Yes, I'm sorry that Mommy and Daddy aren't able to read, watch TV or have sexytime with me around but HELLO? Do you think it's a picnic for me being displaced? I didn't come all the way here from China to be stuck in a freakin' Pack 'n Play for over a week!

Oh, well. It's just temporary, right? Thankfully, there's lots of people working to get my life back together though I do feel bad for Daddy--he hasn't been able to relax for one minute since he got home from camp.

I'm going back to my nap. I need my sleep because tonight Grampa is coming to hang out with me while Mommy and Daddy go stuff their faces with Angela and Andy for their Anniversary. When they get home, I have a little present for them. I'm going to wake up at 4:00 in the morning with a horrible, relentless cough and I'm going to do this while I'm still sleeping as they (Clueless 1 and 2) discuss what to do to with me.

"She's sleeping...what do we do?" "She needs water." "Don't wake her." "Should we wake her?" "She's up anyway, she's freaking coughing like crazy." "She's sleeping though." "If we wake her, she won't go back to sleep." "She's coughing anyway--who's sleeping?"

Finally, after 40 minutes no one wants to relive, I will promptly stand up in the Pack 'n Play at 4:40 in the morning and I will cry. They will wallow in their defeat for a minute and then they will get me out and start scrambling. When I don't take the water Mommy is pushing my way, she will give me watermelon and she will reason that it "has water in it." Daddy, at this time, will confer with the Your Child's Health book that Dr. Molly gave us so they don't have to wake her ass up. They will go to page 589, read it, and Daddy will run a hot shower for 10 minutes and take me in there hoping that the warm moisture will relax my vocal cords. It doesn't really work. They're in for a long night, a lot of worrying, and some good looking dark circles tomorrow.

Happy Anniversary...Dummies.

Mommy's not sure...

2008-09-10T21:36:00.004-04:00

Do I need a haircut?

That's All Folks!

2008-09-03T10:39:00.038-04:00

Camp is over.

Last Dance. Park's closed. Elvis has left the building!

No more traveling back and forth for us and...Daddy's home!!

Here are some of the fun things he came home to:

A new (earlier) wake-up time prompted by a baby monitor and hosted by the babbling no-one-has-any-idea-what-she's-talking-about-sometimes-it-sounds-like-French-but-it's definitely-not-Chinese kid on the other side of the house.

Toilet paper that is off the holders (Frankie likes to pull and pull and pull on toilet paper so I had to remove some them from "Frankie range" and instead place them on top of the toilets). Not my best decorating move --but it's better than the toilet paper floor plan Frankie came up with.

An A/C issue that may force us to have our kitchen ceiling ripped out. Always good.

The sweet scent of dirty diapers seeping from the garbage can and filling the open air of the garage.

Leftover Chinese food that had not been thrown out despite confirmation from wifey that it was.

A dead tree.

Missing rubber door stoppers.

Conversations that start with "Have you seen my..." "Do you know what I did with..." and "Where did I put my..."

Shoes in the kitchen (not mine or his).

A very excited daughter.

Cody came home when Frankie was napping so she had no idea he was in the house. When she got up, I did the usual blah blah blah, "Hi, Frankie--did you have a nice nap?" ...diaper change, etc. and then I put her down on the floor in her bedroom. She was not facing me because she was far too busy pulling all of the books from her nightstand shelf. I very badly wanted to put them all back (I am who I am--I can't help it) but I have accepted that to be an exercise in futility until Frankie moves on to another activity. I chose to ignore the collasal book buildup and focused instead on posing questions like: "Can you say MOMMY? Can you say FLOYD? Can you say DOWN WITH UofM?''...and then I heard Cody walk in. Fray J was still pulling books and taking gibberish so I threw out: "Can you say DADDY...?" I got stuck on DADDY until she was sick of saying it and finally she turned around and saw him. There was Daddy-- right there--in her bedroom! She was very excited; it was a very cute homecoming.

It's really nice to have Cody home. I love being at camp (and I know Frankie and Floyd do too) but I honestly don't think I had another road trip in me. Now, we are all in one place--full time--and I feel a lot less rushed and a lot more settled. I'm going to take a little break from Frankie's blog and hang with my family. I'm sure I'll be back at some point with more Frankie stories and I hope you'll all still be interested. Thank you for your fun and supportive comments and for checking in on us.

I don't mind admitting that I was a little nervous about doing much of my first summer as a Mom on my own--but knowing you guys were out there, and reading your comments (they go right to my email) helped me so much. Writing about our experiences was a healthy outlet for me and it kept me from shopping online while Frankie was sleeping.

I think the stores missed me though so it's time to give them some attention. Frankie needs some cute stuff for the Fall...and who am I kidding?

So do I.

That's not for Frankie!

2008-08-28T20:53:00.008-04:00

"That's not for Frankie" is all the rage in our house right now. It's the new black.

Frankie is obsessed with the white, rubber things that are on the end of the door stoppers. She loves to take them off and put them in her mouth (yummy!). Sometimes, if I am in close proximity, she will offer it to me like it's a very special present. It isn't and I don't want it. I want it where it was--on the end of door stopper.

I realized "Frankie, NO" wasn't doing the trick after hearing myself say it ad nauseum in every room in the house with a door or closet, so I enlisted the help of my friend, Sharon, one of my favorite moms, who gave me a hopeful alternative. She told me to say "That's not for Frankie" in a voice that sounds like "Oops, I know you didn't mean to do that, sweetie!" whenever she gets into something she shouldn't. (That is pretty much everything, all the time). From there I am supposed to direct her towards something else to play with. When there is a viable option in the vicinity, it actually works. Fickle Frankie forgets all about trying to pry off the inexplicably attractive rubber door stopper and instead finds instant happiness with her new (and improved) activity. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of rockin' fun options available at the back of the door so most of the time I am left with taking the rubber thing away and saying (in a voice dripping with saccarine) "That's not for Frankie."

Admittedly, after the 25th time, the inflection in my voice does tend to go from the sweet "Oopsie, I know that's not what you meant to do, honey" voice to a tone more representative of "What is your deal??? You have a million fun things to play with--what is your bizarro fascination with the rubber thing at the end of the door? Ugh...enough!"

I'm sure if I took a moment to reflect, I would consider myself lucky that her only current obsession is with rubber door stoppers. Once she can reach the lint filter on the dryer...she'll probably never want to leave the house.

Letting Go

2008-08-25T21:56:00.030-04:00

All Frankie wants to do is walk.

I'm living with Forest Gump--if he walked instead of ran.

I love that she is walking because of the huge smile she so proudly wears on her face. I also love the look of determination in her eyes as she, in perfect Godzilla-form, stomps and crushes everything and anything in her way (including the new sunglasses that were out of the bag for exactly 13 seconds).

I also hate that she is walking because that's ALL she wants to do. It seems everytime I pick her up to smush her with kisses, she says "down." I don't even remember teaching her that word! I don't think I did. Do kids learn it by osmosis when they learn to walk? "Down." All the time--"Down." Well, I'm not so "down" with "down." I still want to hold her a little bit! Walking has trumped Mommy and Mommy don't like it.

A few days ago, early in the morning, I took Floyd Coden for a walk off camp grounds while Cody was in the cabin with Frankie. Floyd was with me, right next to me or very close to me, until he wasn't. I remember looking over to my left and he was gone. I didn't really panic because he knows his way around the area, but I was getting a little annoyed as I yelled, whistled and clapped for him, all the while envisioning myself waking several sleepy people due to the early hour. I weaved in and out of the front lawns lining the dirt road--planning all of the things I was going to say to him when we finally reunited--when lo and behold, a very vuluptuous female Golden Retriever came sauntering towards me with a very embarrassed Floyd Coden trailing slightly behind. Um Hmm. Floyd Coden may have been hanging his head in shame, but the truth of the matter was that he found himself a little early morning hootchie mama lovin'.

I was so ready to bust him out for blatantly ignorning my calls, but as I looked at his cute Floyd Coden face, with his golden girl right next to him, I just couldn't do it. Cady, with the red heart dog tag, was a cutie and I could tell she was into Floyd as she unabashadly sniffed his butt right in front of me. I just didn't have the heart to embarrass him so I let it go and instead settled for telling him-- out of the side of my mouth--that we would discuss his obvious defiance later. (And we did).

While we walked back to camp, I couldn't help but hope for a minute that walking doesn't lead Frankie and Floyd away from me... but I know at times it will. It will and it should. I just hope they know that they can come always come back.

Stream of Consciousness...

2008-08-20T15:28:00.012-04:00

Don't forget to bring a spoon and a bib to dinner with Debbie tonight--you always forget one or the other...load the travel diaper holder thingie with more dipes because FJ used the last one after the appetizing dump she took during last night's dinner with The Clarks...don't forget to bring Cody his mail to camp this weekend...also the gifts for his bday and there is still one in the car under the front seat...get bananas on way home from dinner if it's not too late...don't forget the fleece bag sample that you need for your appt tomorrow...fire off a check to Randy for smashing into his car in his driveway, maybe think about going back to driving school as well...make Pediatrician appt for next round of rockin' vaccinations...go see if there is any more leftover Chinese food left in the fridge in the garage considering you already told Cody you threw it all out...don't forget IPOD/charger, phone/charger, camera/charger and laptop tomorrow before camp...put magazines and book in tote bag now so you don't get to camp all mad that you left without them...go to the bathroom...get bananas...renew InStyle magazine subscription...email Dad a list of FJ's routine for tomorrow--ask him if he has any bananas...fold clothes in dryer and wash towels next...do sheets tomorrow morning so they are clean when you get home from camp...go get 1, 2 or 3 pieces of SEE's chocolate in the box you keep walking past...pack up car after FJ goes to sleep...bath for FJ? no bath for FJ?--she took one last night...add "lip liner sharpener" to your list of things to buy, where in the world did the other one go?... clean up playroom--I don't know why I bother, oh, yes I do--I can't help it, I'm obsessive, I'm Monica from "Friends"...put FJ's shoes away, there are 5 pairs in the kitchen, shoes should NOT be in the kitchen, seriously, why are her freakin' shoes always in the kitchen?... wash bottles...make eyebrow appt, it's been so long you might need Floyd's groomer...Tivo 90210, it starts on Sept 2, and don't let anyone make fun of your for being excited about it...fill Floyd's water bowl and I think he needs more treats in his jar, where are they? In the closet...still need to go to the bathroom...

Learning to Walk

2008-08-17T21:03:00.009-04:00

I had "one of those weeks" this week.
In the midst of it, Miss Swanky Frankie decided that she was determined to walk.

On Wednesday morning, before daycare, Frankie took a few steps while we were playing. I told her that Daddy was coming on home on Friday for the weekend and to hang tight. I pretended like nothing happened. I actually dissuaded my kid from walking. Who does that? Mother-of-the-year, I am.

That evening, Frankie and I went to our friends, The Otis', house for a very nice dinner. We played, FJ took another few steps, I ignored it, we ate, we laughed, it was fun. After I surveyed Frankie's usual mess of "things she wasn't in the mood for" all over their kitchen floor, we conveniently decided we needed to leave in order to get home for our nightly routine. There we were... in the car...ready to go...backing down the driveway, when I--in a matter of seconds--ran into the Otis' sweet, luxury car promptly changing it from a "whooptie" to a "hooptie." I felt horrible. Horrible. And it didn't help matters that I had to listen to Frankie relentlessly repeating "Uh-Oh" the whole ride home. Zip it, Rainman--Mama just pimped a ride.

On Thursday, I sat in a deposition for most of the day. That actually would have been fine if I WAS A LAWYER. I'm being sued by the woman who bought my old house. She's suing me for fraud. She believes that I lied about problems with the crawl space of my old house. I didn't. I never even went into the crawl space. Do I seem like the girl who would go into a crawl space? No thanks. I was exhausted when I got home and all I wanted to do was crunch my kid. When she got her up from her nap, I was so excited to see her and she burped in my face. Awesome.

Friday: Big day. Ohhhh, big day. Cody's coming home for the weekend, Beanie and Nicole (Frankie's best friend/camp nanny) are coming to stay with us, and it's vaccination day--one of the holiest of days. On top of that, FJ is really dying to walk and I still won't let her go full-blown until Daddy comes home. I explained to her (again) that I want her to take her first steps with both of us. It worked. Cody came home and Frankie went hands-free. There is nothing cuter than watching her walk. She is just so proud of herself. She looks like an extra from "Night of the Living Dead," all wobbly and unstable with her hands out in front of her: thump, thump, thump... and then she invariably falls after 4-6 steps and gets back up again: thump, thump, thump...

Cody made it home in time for the doctor appointment. As always, the vaccination shot was harder on me than on Frankie. I hate vaccinations but I love, love, love our pediatrician (Dr. O'Shea) and her new office is insane. It has a very contemporary feel and the vibe is warm. Everyone that works there is happy to be there and totally sincere. Each patient room is equipped with a TV and a really comfy leather couch. (How crazy is that? No sterile tables--couches!! Leather couches!) Dr. O'Shea talked to us for awhile while I sank into the comfy couch and Frankie alternated between climbing all over Cody and playing with the toys we brought in from the waiting room. She did, however, manage to say "Hi-eeee" about 50 times in order to ascertain that she does indeed have that word down. The whole experience was surreal. It was so laid back, we could have just as easily been hanging at Dr O'Shea's house. Even her kleenex box matched the decor. Cody and I walked out holding a happy kid and a complimentary Your Child's Health book shaking our heads in total disbelief that a doctor office visit could be so painless. Well, maybe not totally painless for FJ...but her recovery was fast, her band-aid was cute, and after we explained to her that the alternative (Polio) would SUCK, Dr. O'Shea's Mom let her pick out a toy to take home. All was well again. Vaccinations and party favors. Love it.

Yes, it was one of those weeks. It was one of those weeks filled with ups and downs. We've all been there. We've all had them. It's interesting to me that I had this kind of week while Frankie was learning to walk. After her initial descent into Stepsville, USA, I watched my girl fall down and spring back up about 100 times. Determination and resilience surrounded her every single time and it not only was it inspiring, but also a gentle reminder that there may be days when we're down--but it doesn't take long to get back up on our feet, where we belong.

Northern Exposure

2008-08-12T20:12:00.002-04:00

Dear Nadia,

It was so much fun when you and Aunt Abbey stayed here with me and Mommy. It felt very empty and sad when we got home from dropping you off at the airport. We had a fun time, didn't we?

Remember when Mommy threw you the little birthday party at the house and they made us wear matching outfits? LAME. They thought it was sooooo cute. How much longer do you think we'll have to do that kind of stuff? They should have to wear matching outfits. We'll see how cute it is then.

Meanwhile, did you know I was supposed to get cake that night and I didn't? You were still sleeping so you might not know this, but when Mommy took me and Floyd for a walk on Friday morning, I snagged a BB Bat sucker and Mommy sort of shrugged it off thinking I would just hang onto it during our walk, (I always hang onto something during our walks) but when we were walking (boring) and she was singing (horribly), I broke through the paper covering and got about half the sucker! (I got some of the paper too). But then she busted me. Oh, she busted me bad. She took it away (and no doubt ate it). She said "You're making me be a mean Mommy but you don't let me brush your teeth so no shot are you getting cake and sucker all in one day. No cake for you, Missy." I swear, she called me Missy. My name is Frankie. Anyway, I thought she'd relent, but she didn't. She is Dr. Ruthless. I probably wouldn't have been able to sleep having sugar so close to bedtime, but I hope you enjoyed it. I'm still not completely over missing out.

Thankfully, I am a trooper and I still managed to have fun during your stay. How about when we took our baths together? Did you have fun? I did. Didn't you find me to be an excellent splasher? I know, I am awesome. I get water everywhere. No one can compare. I didn't want to bring it up when you were here, but did you happen to pass a little gas in the tub? I think I saw some extra bubbles on your side.

I really didn't mind taking a bath with you, but did you hear Aunt Abbey and Mommy laughing in the kitchen about how they are going to do it every single time we are together, no matter how old we are? I even heard your Mom preparing for future hypothetical arguments... "Honey, I know you just got your driver's license, but get in!" They were laughing and laughing. They think they are so funny. Hardee har har.

How about when we went to lunch at Olga's and you were screaming so loud that glasses were breaking and people were looking? That was funny. You hit notes that Mariah Carey has never heard of. Aunt Abbey was kind of mad and when we got to the car, she said: "I will always love you, but I am very upset with you right now" and you blew a fat raspberry at her. It was killer. Good times.

Did we get a chance to discuss "The makeshift-silver-gift-ribbon-child-safety-cabinet-protectors" they came up with to keep us out of the cabinet under the sink? What was that about? Hello--McGyver, is that you? Admittedly, it worked, but Mommy, don't you have a job and some cash-eesh in your account to get the real thing??? I know the economy is bad in Michigan but REALLY? A silver gift ribbon?

What about when you guys first got to the house and Floyd Coden got so excited he barfed all over the kitchen (Welcome to Detroit!), and then he did it again a few days later? Nothing beat when he tore down the door frame of the door leading to the garage because no one was home when the big storm hit and he (as always) flipped out. He even got to the dry wall! Poor Floyd Coden.

Hey, who do you think got Mommy sick, me or you? We were both teething big time and rockin' the Casbah with our runny nose/cough combo so it really could have been either one of us--or both. I know I coughed in Mommy's face a bunch of times, but I noticed you got a few good ones in there as well. I guess we will never know so I will consider it a joint effort. I felt kind of bad for her since I did keep her up for 2 of the nights you guys were here, but whatever--she'll sleep when she's dead.

I'm getting ready to say good-bye and enjoy myself a nice poop in the pants, but I'd like to leave you with one more tidbit from our fun-filled time together: The booger bubble. Aunt Abbey kept wanting me to do "kar-a-tay," but lest we never forget or disrespect the booger bubble. Have you ever seen a more perfect "O" of mucus come from anyone's nose?...I don't think so. Don't worry, I will practice and bring my many talents with me when we come to visit you. I can't wait!

Until then, I miss you very much. I loved playing with you, even though you fell on me like a billion times-- but you made up for it with all the presents you brought me, especially the "Ne-Hao, Ya'll" shirt. That will look hot on me.

Long live Mac and the Cheese!

KIT

BFF

FJC OUT

PS. Are you so sick of that Kid Rock CD? I am too. Give it a rest, Mommies!

Bring it on, Ya'll!

2008-08-05T21:49:00.013-04:00

Abbey and I in Charlevoix, MI 1998

My mom used to tell me not to depend on one friend for everything. She said: "It's hard to get everything you need from one friend, each friend wears a different hat." In other words, you may have one friend you love to gossip with, one friend you love to shop with, one friend you can trade secrets with...

I'm very lucky. I actually have one friend I can say or do anything with and tomorrow she's coming here from Dallas with her youngest daughter who is just a few months younger than Frankie! No husbands, just the girls. Oh yeah, baby. JUST.THE.GIRLS.

How excited am I?
Get me a diaper.

Abbey is my best friend. We met at The Ohio State University many years ago and we've been friends ever since. Abbey was actually friends with my roomate when we met. Soon enough, Abbey began "cheating" on my roomate when we decided we liked each other more than we liked her. (Mean, I know). Abbey used to call our apartment and hang up when my roomate answered (real mature), but I'd know it was her and I'd call her right back (Ahh...the days before Caller ID...).

We've been through the good and the bad together, Abbey and I--and there have been lots of both. She's the Gail to my Oprah, the Beavis to my Butthead. I am looking forward to several days of face stuffing, much celebrating, present opening, coffee drinking, magazine reading, diaper changing, movie watching, baby strolling, dog walking, power shopping, bottle giving, errand running, Kid Rock singing, Disney playing, coney dog eating--(her, not me) and the kind of genuine and knowing laughter that makes whatever you're drinking come out of your nose.

Is it tomorrow yet?
Let's get it on, Darlin'!

Accentuating the Positive

2008-08-04T21:34:00.014-04:00

This past weekend, my brother, Frankie's Uncle D, decided to leave his busy NY life behind and slow things down at camp for a few days. It was great for me to hang with him and I know FJ enjoyed her time with him as well. He came to Detroit to meet her a few weeks after we got home from China but everything was still a little new and a lot cuckoo so, understandably, he was likely wondering if a) she would remember him (not a chance) and b) if she would be into him (most definitely). In fact, I estimate that it took her approximately 2 minutes to warm up to him before he became her very own personal jungle gym.

Uncle D showed up just in time for the Camp Tanuga "Friday Night Dinner." As usual, Frankie was holding court at her standard "head of the table" position. She gave "high 5's" to kids and counselors alike while happily alternating between stuffing her face and throwing her food. No easy feat, I know, but nothing unusual for Fray J. She is a fun and happy kid and mealtime is no exception. My brother caught on fast and wasted no time calling me out: "She's awesome, Rob. Why do you give her such a bad rap on the blog?" I was totally blindsided.

I do? I give her a bad rap?

I don't mean to!

Well, sometimes I do, I mean let's face it--she's not awesome 100% of the time (who is?), but believe you me, I'd be the first to push her way up on the scale of awesomeness, if there was one. (There should be one).

My Dad used to tell me that when he was a kid, when it came to him, my Grandma would frequently highlight the negative and rarely accentuate the positive. I don't want to be like that. There is far, FAR more positive associated with Frankie J than negative.

She is awesome.

She's really funny, especially when she hears music and no matter what she's doing, she'll start dancing. She's sweet, especially when I ask her for a kiss and she leans her forehead towards me so I can kiss it (that's her version--I don't question it). She's sassy with her new-found whiplash abbreviated head shaking "No-ooo" when I ask her if she wants some water. She's cute with her shy smile and quick shoulder shrug when someone asks her how she is. She's smart when she goes to pry open one of my hands and then the other looking for the rest of her goldfish that I have actually eaten instead of holding for her. She's amazing that she passed Mommy's sleep training course in 3 days and now she can put herself to sleep at home and at camp... and if she doesn't feel like sleeping, she is happy to blow raspberries and babble in some language that has no English translation until someone comes to get her. She's girlie when she crawls around with lip gloss in one hand and mascara in the other. She's hilarious when she pushes her walker toy around furtively channeling Sophia from "The Golden Girls." She's expressive when we say "Frankie...Kar-ah-tay?" and she breaks out a karate move that is so funny, I promise, you will wish wish you were wearing her diaper because you will pee in your pants. She's clueless that she hurts my feelings when she prefers Daddy to me (not that I blame her, he is pretty freakin' cool). She's a trooper with the 3-3-1/2 hour drive we do twice a week and she's a gem that she adjusts to the cabin when we're Up North or to the house when we're downstate the second she walks (crawls) in.

...and those are just the things off the top of my head.

Bad rap? We can't have that...unless, of course, she's listening to it in my car and we all know she would never rat out her Mommy for that. She's too loyal.

Hey, add that one to my list.

The Evolution of "Uh-Oh"

2008-08-01T11:59:00.023-04:00

"Uh-Oh" is very big right now.

It started out as "Uh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh," and then slowly progressed to "Uh-Uh-Uh-Oh," and now we've arrived at destination "Uh-Oh." It's quite the popular expression for Frankie Jade-- and who knew there were so many different uses for it?

There is the "Uh-Oh" for when someone else drops something or she sees something fall. There is the "Uh-Oh" for when she is the one doing the dropping or throwing. And let's not forget my personal favorite--the "Uh-Oh" that is said right before she drops or throws something. (I like to think of that one as the preemtive "Uh-Oh.")

In addition to "Uh-Oh," there are a few other biggies currently circulating the Coden household. "Hi-eee" (Hi), "Dank du" (Thank you), "Ba Ba" (Bottle-- that's a new one), "Gu Gu" (Good girl), "Bye Bye" and "Ba" (Ball). Her vocabulary may not be vast, but coupled with expressive--and often humorous--body language, she somehow manages to get her point across.

Unfortunately, in addition to the few words and hand/arm gestures, it seems the "loud and screechy road" has also become one of her preferred ways of communication. In the last few days, the emergence of the "mini tantrum" has decided to rear its ugly head. They are short lived and always followed by a quick recovery, but the frustration Frankie is so obviously experiencing can be hard to watch. I would love to say "use your words" as I have so often seen many Mom's say, but I don't know how far that will get me. Somehow I don't think "Dank du" or "Ba Ba" are the linguistic tools she would reach for in order to convey her message.

So, for the time being, Cody or I (or both) have settled for getting down on the floor with Frankie while we attempt to slowly and soothingly work through the imminent drama together. I keep telling her that saying "MORE" would clear up so much (as opposed to the high pitch scream she seems to be becoming very fond of), but she isn't budging, and who can blame her? Her chosen "loud and screechy road" may be less traveled by those in our household, but it sure is an effective route...at least for now...

Daddy's Girl

2008-07-29T11:56:00.016-04:00

I left Frankie at camp on Sunday.

I have never been without her since the day we got her.

Everywhere I go and everything I do, I keep thinking I have forgotten something...

It's very strange.

Every Wednesday we show up at camp like a tornado: Frankie, Floyd and I. We tear up, mess up and stink up Cody's cabin. (Side note: The "stink up" one is all Floyd--I take no responsibility for that. He has perfected the just-out-of-the-lake-wet-dog-smell. It permeates the cabin. It's really lovely).

In any event, we stir it up from Wednesday until Sunday and then we clear out leaving Cody amidst the leftover doggie stench and heavyhearted silence. Of course, there are approximately 200 kids running around camp... but not his kid. I started to feel very bad about leaving Cody alone. Is it fair for me to keep taking his daughter from him every Sunday? Is it fair to take her away from her father? Who's to say that I'm the one who is supposed to be with Frankie all the time?

So...here I am, with Floyd Coden.

We are separated from both Daddy and daughter, and you know what? We are doing just fine. Floyd is enjoying his alone time with me and I'm happy to curl up on the couch with a little Lifetime TV when I'm done at work. (I can't even remember the last time I was on the couch, or in the family room for that matter).

I know Frankie is having a blast at camp (see photos) and she's very well cared for. Cody and Nicole (our faboo camp nanny) know the drill. I'm sure my girl is not looking for me or Floyd--as she is kept very busy and I really don't think she has any concept of time yet--but I also know she will be happy to see us when we get there. I'm very excited for tomorrow when we will likely get her now-famous "Hiieee!" (Translation: "Hi!")

In the meantime, I'm going to hang outside with Frankie's Auntie Michael and catch up on some gossip before heading out for a much anticipated girl's night. These last few days have been nice--I'm doing fine keeping busy or doing nothing, but that surely doesn't mean I don't miss my girl because one thing is for sure:

I do.

Nature vs Nurture

2008-07-26T15:24:00.014-04:00

Lunch time at Camp Tanuga is an especially crazy part of the day. The mess hall is packed with hungry campers in need of hydrates and carbohydrates. Announcements are made and cheers are called. Banging, snapping, yelling, clapping, singing, eating, stomping, cheering. It's a cacophony of sound that would normally be deemed anything but appropriate, but at camp it just makes sense.

Frankie loves it.

We bring her in early so she can get a jump start on her meal because when the yelling and stomping starts, she can hardly contain herself. Food and appetite are both forfeited as she chooses instead to bounce up and down in her chair lost in the madness that is lunch time in the mess hall. She loves it.

Yesterday, as we were watching Frankie repeatedly attempt to eject herself from her chair (full smile painted on her face and ours) a close friend made a comment that can only be described as the very essence of why I am such a firm believer in adoption:

"I wonder what Frankie would be like if someone else adopted her."

Ever since my 12th grade World Literature class, I have been intriqued with how genetics and environment shape who we are. Nature vs. Nuture is a common theme in many of the canon classics we are made to read in school. For most, the ageless debate was chucked at the classroom door, but for me--for some inexplicable reason--it followed me out of the classroom and inexorably weaved itself into my life.

It followed me to rescue Barney and Floyd, two neglected Golden Retrievers, with hopes of giving them them a fresh start and a new life. (It worked). It followed me to work with at-risk youth and foster kids to prove to them, and myself, that with a little love, attention and respect, they could be stripped of their defensive armor ultimately exposing inherently good kids struggling to survive in mostly undesirable and, very often, violent living conditions. It also, without a doubt, followed me to Frankie.

How much of who we are is determined by the innate qualities we are born with, and how much is because of personal influence and experiences?

I have never felt a need to be pregnant. (Though you know if I was, I would surely be the girl eating cake at 4:00 a.m.). For me, the need is much more about changing a life instead of making one. Will Frankie have Cody's hair or my eyes? Uh...definitely NO to both, but I care about that stuff not at all. Frankie has unquestionably gotten her hair and eyes from her biological parents, but that happy kid doing the watermelon dance, the sassy shoulder shrug and the mess hall table bang...that is ALL us, baby.

All us.

NO

2008-07-22T20:52:00.002-04:00

Frankie loves to stand.

It's her new thing and she is VERY into it.

Usually when she stands, I put both arms up in the air and sing "YAY," but there are plenty of times when I find myself grabbing her and saying "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

You know those chairs that clip onto the side of the table? The ones babies and toddlers sit in while they're eating? Yeah...Frankie likes to stand while she's in it. Of course she is clipped in and the straps should hold her down--but they don't. She pushes her butt back, reaches forward and stands. It's very annoying. We, repeatedly, gently push her back down and tell her "NO," but she flat-out doesn't care. She just tries to stand back up again.

Frankie also tries to stand while I'm changing her diaper. What is that all about? I'll reach down for a dipe or for a wipey thing and the next thing I know, in a flash, she has gone from her back to her stomach while quickly pulling her legs in so she can stand. NO! Are you kidding me? You're on a changing table for *&^%'s sake! GET DOWN.

How about in the bathtub? That's my personal fave. I mean, is there a MORE dangerous place for Frankie to stand? Water, soap, shampoo and suds. Nope, no danger there. Here, let me help you! Unreal. I must have said "NO" about 1000 times tonight during bathtime but she just thinks it's funny. Well, it's not.

I have noticed, as of late, that even she has started shaking her head "NO."

Whatever it is, the answer is "no."

I can't imagine where she picked that up.

Could it be that she sees me doing it to her all the time?

Gee, I wonder why...

Bad Influence

2008-07-21T14:00:00.002-04:00

I am a big fan of eminem. BIG.

You like him? Great. You loathe him? Great.

I love him.

I love him in the car and in concert. I love him on DVD and on TV. I love him in books and on posters. I love him in interviews and on magazine covers.

I love him here, I love him there, I love him pretty much anywhere!

The thing is, I really think Frankie J digs him too.

Is that bad?

Being that she is only 15 months old, and has only been exposed to English for about 4 months, I still pop in Eminem CD's when we're in the car together. I figure she still has no idea what he's talking about.

Thus, we jam.

Her legs go up and down like crazy and I swear I have seen her pump her right arm up and down to the beat. (Rapper style).

I'm telling you, my girl is down with Eminem.

What am I supposed to do? The poor kid was deprived of so much the first 11 months of her life, can I deprive her of this?

I don't think I can.

I don't think I will.

At least not yet.

I know there will come a day when I won't be able to pop in his CD's anymore or, at best, I'll have to get the ones with censored lyrics. (Blech!) That day is out there though, it's out there...just looming above me like a thunderstorm threatening a picnic. It makes me sad, yes--but I'm thinking if I don't pull him from my CD player, the alternative could be very bad later on down the line...

Teacher:

Frankie, I'm sorry, but you and your friends are going to have to keep it down.

Frankie:

B*tch, keep talkin'

Keep on poppin' off, flip them jaws because

We ain't stoppin'

We ain't gotta prove $h*t to ya'll

So all ya'll can lick the b#!!$ and keep walkin'!

OY.

That would be bad. Very bad.

I should probably just stop playing him now.

Blech!

Queen of the Crib

2008-07-17T15:04:00.002-04:00

Ms. Thang is becoming unbearable to live with.

Soon after we got the letter about her "bandanna photo" being inducted into that "baby coffee table book," her adoption agency asked for permission to put her picture on their new brochure. It has totally gone to her head. She can't walk, but she is climbing Mount Ego. The kid can't say her own name, but she insists that I hire an agent and assistant for her as soon as possible.
Unreal.

Also, a side story and a little tip for those who keep kleenex next to the crib:

Don't.

As usual, we put Frankie down for her mid-day camp siesta around 3:00. When I went to get the princess after she awoke from her slumber, I walked into a room that had been transformed into the "White Party" --but P Diddy wasn't there.

Kleenex was everywhere!

Either before, after or during her naptime, Frankie decided to grant independence to almost each and every one of the sheets in the kleenex box. Be free! It was all over the floor in front of the crib, it was free floating on the side, and much of it was covering the crib sheet. Few soft soldiers were still being held captive by the time I got there--almost everyone had been liberated. Being that it was easy to clean and the kleenex had not been used, it was funny...and she looked so proud of herself rocking back and forth in her crib waving kleenex at me. "Look what I did!" I wanted to be proud of her but it's not like what she is did is hard or anything. I mean, how hard it is? You pull and throw. Big whoop. I certainly wasn't mad, but I also wasn't quite sure if praise was in order. We eventually settled for telling her how cute she was and cleaned everything up.

I figure we got off easy.
It could have been the "Brown Party" starring poop instead of kleenex.

That's one party I hope she never invites me to.

Time To Take A Stand

2008-07-13T15:15:00.002-04:00

Frankie stood up this past weekend. Then she fell down. She doesn't always fall down though-- at least not right away. Sometimes she stays up for a few seconds and just looks confused like "what am I doing up here?" and then she inevitably falls down. Either way-- it's official. She is standing and I'm not the only one who has seen it. Walking can't be far behind, but no one on this end is in any big hurry. It will happen when it happens. Somehow I don't picture her crawling around her high school, so I'm fairly confident the walking thing will happen at some point.

Frankie is also standing strong as a self-proclaimed vegetarian. I thought this little phase would have passed by now, but no uh-uh. I still try to sneak the meat, chicken or turkey in, but every time I do she either nonchalantly tosses it and ignores me, or vehemently throws it and shoots me the "Hello? I told you, Madre, no food with a face!" glare--like I'm not respecting her choices or something. Jeez...take it easy--I just want to make sure you're getting enough iron.

Frankie decided to grow out of one of her really cute pairs of shoes on the way to dinner last night. The outfit was a bit lacking as it felt really incomplete without the cute shoes, but thankfully we all survived and managed to have a nice dinner.

Frankie has also deemed yelling to be a form of communication. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" (See second photo) We don't get it, but it's funny so we do engage, harmonize...and sometimes instigate.

Frankie has made it painfully clear that it doesn't really matter what time we leave camp to make the 3 hour trip home. She will stand strong against giving into a nap and instead opt to whine for at least half the trip. It's so awesome.

Lastly, a month or so ago-- just for kicks--I entered one of Frankie's photos in the Great American Photo Contest. I don't know why I did it. I just did it. How about there was a letter in the mail today that Frankie has been selected to be featured in the 2008 edition of America's Most Beautiful Babies! No, I am not kidding--How crazy is that? We always thought she was cute and I guess we were right! In case you're curious as to which photo was selected, it can be found on the 6/13 blog: it's the one with Frankie in the white bandanna.

I would also like to mention that before Frankie went to sleep tonight, she informed me that she will no longer get out of her crib for less than 10,000 a day. She asked me to thank her "Auntie" (must say with Australian accent) Nicole for taking the chosen picture, Eminem for doing the song we used for our Family Camp skit that prompted the outfits, me for forgetting her Detroit cap and defaulting to the white bandanna and--of course, Cody, for being not only her Daddy, but also her hero.

Ode To Sippy Cup

2008-07-07T13:06:00.001-04:00

I have never really been a jealous person by nature.

I mean, of course I have had my moments (who hasn't), but generally speaking I have never really wanted what someone else has. I have always been happy with my life and what I have.

Until now.

I see babies using sippy cups and I am jealous.

I am. I'm big enough to admit that.

I am jealous of the moms who made it happen.

Why can't I make it happen?

What am I doing wrong?

Oh, sippy...why won't Frankie love you?

It's my only "thing" with Frankie. Everything else--no problem--it will happen when it happens but I'm all about the sippy cup thing happening now. For some reason, it is both my obsession and nemesis: The Sippy Cup.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...Frankie will do it when she's ready (like everything else). I know, I know.

Doesn't help.

Why isn't she doing it NOW? She's 14 months old. Now isn't good?

It's good for me. Not good for her??

Yes, I've tried all the different brands out there.

Yes, I've tried other things besides water.

Yes, I put cranberry juice in the vodka to dilute it a bit.

I have done it all!

She hates the sippy.

I feel bad for the sippy.

This is what it contends with being around Frankie:

Oh, Sippy Cup
Oh, Sippy Cup

Be gone from my life

You're a royal pain in the butt

Mommy shoves you in my face

I push you away

She just doesn't get it...

I will never cave

I picked you up once

It was a tease

I just wanted to show

That I can do it with ease

I only like milk

And bottles are the only way

Keep comin' at me, sippy--

I will make you pay

I will throw you to the ground

You won't spill, but it will hurt

Sometimes you will hit tile

Somtimes you will hit dirt

I will never give up the bottle

You can fly me to the moon

Don't think I won't take it there

And on my freakin' honeymoon

Oh, yeah--bottles rule

Sippy cups suck

You can keep trying

I don't really give a &%#$

(Nice mouth, Frankie).

More things that I find baffling...

2008-07-06T15:17:00.001-04:00

1. I can cut her nails in the morning and by mid-afternoon she can still scratch me in the neck.

2. She will say a word or two out loud, plain as day, and then it goes in the vault never to be heard again.

3. She likes to pull herself up on my shirt (when I'm not wearing a bra) and show everyone my boobs. The "boob grace" I gave (compliments of Frankie) at the Chinese restaurant is my personal favorite.

4. Nasty, gross, chewed up food that is all over her hands needs to go on my face.

5. When we leave for camp at night, she would rather whine than sleep in the car. How about this? YOU drive and I'LL sleep. You won't hear me whining!

6. The remote with the batteries is way more fun to play with than the designated "Frankie Remote" without batteries.

7. Her toys will randomly go off at 3 in the morning. "YELLOW! YELLOW!" That's fun to wake up to.

8. She won't eat the "Pizza Hot Pocket" she loved a few days ago, but she will happily put sand, sticks and stones in her mouth.

9. When we sit by the door and I say "open" a million times, she will look at me like I'm from Mars, but she has no trouble pushing it open it when I'm in the middle of peeing.

10. The clip or barrette I try to put in her hair makes her crazy, but the stinky load of meal memories she's totin around in her diaper isn't bothersome in the least.

Kids are weird.

Mine included.

Brainiac

2008-07-03T15:07:00.001-04:00

So, I figured out why Goodnight Moon is such a great book for kids.

It's not just the flowing prose or colorful illustrations.
(At least not in our house)

It's because the pages aren't packed with words so I can actually get each page read before frantic page turning Frankie makes her next move.

I feel so smart right now.

Dog Daze

2008-07-01T11:41:00.002-04:00

I admit that I have rolled in my share of $hit.
I also have been known to tip over a trash can or break into the cabins at camp looking for food.

I swim in the lake and then shake where there are people around so they get sprayed.

Still and all, I am the cutest dog ever. Just ask my Mom. Ask anyone. Everyone thinks so.

It even says so on my dog tag.

Floyd Coden: Cutest dog ever.

When my Mom and Dad left for China, I had no idea where they were going or why. I sensed things were a little loony before they left, but they're a little cuckoo anyway so one never knows with them. My brother, Dakota, went to Doggie Heaven to hit on sexy poodles and eat at the 24 hour biscuit buffet only a few months before so I just assumed that they were going to get a brother for me. I couldn't understand what was taking so long though. When they rescued me, it only took one day. Where were they? No one was telling me anything. They just kept telling me how cute I was. Hello? I know that. Not helping. I am a bit of a Mama's boy and I wanted my Mama.

After 17 days, they finally came home. They were not alone though. My Dad was holding some kid. A girl. What the hell was I supposed to do with her? She didn't look fun. What was going to happen to ME? I am Mommy's "precious poochie"--everyone knows that! Was I still going to get to go to work with Mommy? Camp? What's the bed situation? When we are home and Dad is at camp, do I still get his side or does SHE? (Just kidding, Dad--no one sleeps on your side of the bed when you're at camp...that doesn't happen, I was totally kidding about that).

It took everyone a little bit of time (like 3 weeks) to get adjusted to the time change when Frankie came to our house. I helped. When they were all getting over their jet lag, I kept the same hours so no one was alone. I even slept in Frankie's room with my Mom the first night they were home (but one night was enough).

Frankie cried a lot when she first came to our house. It was kind of annoying. She was loud about it (and a little scary) but I would go to her every single time because I'm nice and I know she was scared. Plus I felt a great deal of empathy towards her: I went through 3 or 4 foster homes before landing with the Codens. I wasn't exactly scared when I went from being "Bobbie the Rescue Dog" to "Floyd Marshall Coden," but it was an adjustment nevertheless (can you believe I know that word) and I figured I would assist the metamorphosis of Feng FuLan to Frankie Jade as much as I could.

Everyone kept telling my Mom that "things would change" with our relationship when Frankie came (that drove her nutso), but really they haven't changed that much. All of the stuff we used to do, we still do--Frankie just comes too.

There are some things that Frankie doesn't get to do that I do though:
I'm allowed on Mom's bed at night when Dad is camp (no, I'm not) and Frankie doesn't come.

I go to work with Mom and Frankie doesn't come.

I attend evening programs at camp after 8:00 and Frankie doesn't come.

I am very nice to Frankie. Sometimes she pulls on my ears or swats me on the nose and I am still nice to her. Sometimes she wakes me up (see pictures above) and I never complain. We have a good thing going, me and Frankie--she leaves all kinds of food for me on her high chair and on the floor when she's eating. I never have to give her any of my food though. Does that make up for her trying to put her finger in my eye? No, but it's OK. She's just being Frankie and and I am nice to her because that is my nature. I'm Floyd Coden: Cutest dog ever.

Camp Tanuga-A Place To Grow

2008-06-27T11:21:00.005-04:00

Frankie, Floyd and I are up at camp right now. It's freakin' crazy here. There is a lot going on and no one wants to miss anything.

I get it.

I'm the same way.

Overnight camp is a special place where kids grow both physically and mentally in the time they are here. The days are long but the weeks are short. It's over before you know it. The kids stay busy trying new activities like the the trapeze or the high ropes course in a safe and supportive environment, they broaden and sharpen their creative and social skills, and they learn how to co-exist and compromise with others in very close quarters--all the while feeling out their own independence and new-found autonomy several miles from home.

Again... it's crazy here. It is not at all unusual for the kids to "forget" to brush their teeth or write a letter home and, in some cases, a few have been known to "not have time" to go to the bathroom.

I'm a little surprised by our newest addition, Miss Frankie Jade, though.

It seems my girl has been swept up by the madness as well.

My hope every day is that Frankie drinks around 20 oz of milk. That is usually a given, but these past few days she has just "had no time" for her bottle and she would prefer to be doing something else. No. Uh-Uh. Sor-ry. That is just not going to happen. Last I checked, one of the Camp Tanuga prerequisites is that campers don't crap their pants on a daily basis and seeing as though Miss Frankie still does, it's not looking like there is going to be space for her in a cabin anytime soon. Drink your milk, shortie.

Frankie has also taken a recent stab at standing (with help) up for her convictions. She is currently proclaiming herself as a vegetarian. Turkey? No more. Hamburger? No chance. Tuna fish? Are you kidding me? Chicken McNuggets? Paleez...it's your dime. Waste if you wish.

I'm not sure how or when this happened; Frankie definitely liked turkey a month or so ago. I have fond memories. In fact, I must still be in mourning those nostalgic turkey days because I still put it in front of her quite frequently, though my efforts consistently prove to be an exercise in futility. Sometimes I'll even throw down turkey and cheese together hoping her love for cheese will balance her dislike for turkey, but she just tosses the sad, unwanted turkey aside (or more likely, to the floor) and ignores its existence.

I am a counselor for one child this summer.

She's not even paying to come here and she is already proving to be quite the high maintenance camper-in-training. She pushes her bottles away and turns her nose up at any "food with a face," yet she always manages to leave the biggest mess behind in the mess hall. (She flirts hard with the K-Staff so they just don't have the heart to get mad at her).

My girl seems to be following the lead of the campers that surround her. Her little body is bypassing the shorts she has worn only once and her head is overflowing with new thoughts of determination every day. Do I wish she'd slow down and drink her milk and eat some meat? Sure, but she's not starving and I know she'll get to it eventually.

With each day that passes we see less and less of the sad, little, abandoned FuLan we picked up from the orphanage and more and more of the happy, sassy, secure Frankie Jade we are raising. I can already tell she will one day be running around this place as busy and preoccupied as the next kid...I just hope she takes a minute to say "Hi" to her Mommy every now and then.

The Good, The Bad and The $hitty...

2008-06-25T10:00:00.005-04:00

Yesterday Little Miss Asian Sensation woke up at 5:46 in the morning. BAD. She fell back asleep and woke up again at 7:07. GOOD.

She started crying a bit when we pulled into daycare. BAD. She let out a real good cry when when I gave her up to the daycare owner. ALSO BAD. I know she stops about 5 seconds after I leave but it still hurts my heart for a minute. I'm thinking that she cries when I let her go because she is just really digging me right now. GOOD. That will surely change as she grows older. I'm sure it will be more like "Ugh, JUST GO!!!" But for now, she cries-- and as bad as it is...it's also kind of nice.

The economy sucks and work is really slow right now. BAD. It does give me more time with my girl though so that is GOOD. I decided, since there was really nothing going on at work, to pick Frankie up early from daycare. We went home, had a snack and played the "Thank You Game." What's the "Thank You Game?" When Frankie has something in her hand, I put my hand out and say "Can I have that?" She ponders it for a brief moment, and then (sometimes reluctantly) places it in my hand. I exclaim "THANK YOU!!!!" with such enthusiasm that one would think she just gave me a Dior Saddle Bag circa 1971. I surely sound like an idiot, but she seems to like it and it usually promps her to say "Thank you," which actually sounds a lot more like "Dant Doo."

At 3:00, we did the bottle and book thing before I put her down for her nap. The nap, however, was not on her calendar. That girl wanted no part of a nap. It was not happening. BAD. BAD. BAD. After about 30 minutes of in-out kisses kisses, in-out kisses kisses...I threw in the towel. Sometimes it's just not worth it. Plus, it was beautiful out so we went outside and I pushed her on the swing. GOOD. GOOD. GOOD. She loves the swing. My dad showed up and he joined in.

Where's Floyd? Oh, I'll tell you where Floyd was: He was rolling around in $hit he managed to find in the woodsy part of our backyard. BAD. VERY, VERY BAD. I don't know whose $hit it was, but I can tell you that it wasn't mine. My dad took FJ while I did an abridged doggie bath in the laundry room. So gross and really--just WRONG. Why do dogs do that? I don't get that.

As I left the house for my last birthday celebration with my friends, I smiled because I knew my dad would keep his eye on Floyd and my girl was in very capable hands with her Grampa.

My friends and I had a blast at dinner. It is good (GOOD) to get out sometimes. We ate, we laughed, we stuffed our faces--I got caught up, got presents and got dessert (SO, SO, SO GOOD). When I tried to pay for my share, they wouldn't let me and our waitress chimed in that no one had to pay. It seems my husband called the restaurant and paid for the whole dinner for all of us!!! Oh...we love Cody, he is SO GOOD.

We all went back to my house so they could kiss FJ before I swept her off for bottle, book and bed. Yes, I skipped the bath (BAD, I know--but it's rare, so it's not THAT bad).

As everyone was all over FJ (she was loving it), my one girlfriend who we will refer to as "The Diva" got down and started petting Floyd and rubbing him around the facial area. GOOD for Floydie. She looked up at me and said: "Rob, why is Floyd so wet?"
Ooopsie.
I looked down and said: "Oh, he rolled in $hit earlier--but I cleaned him."

GOOD, BAD? I guess it's neither but for some reason it was at that precise moment--as I was standing there with FJ on my hip clad in her loaded diaper, looking down at my girlfriend on the floor with my stinky, but precious pooch, that I fully realized that I'm a mom...and with that title comes days inundated with some good, some bad and some $hit... and for some reason it was just really, really FUNNY.

Frankie's Laws

2008-06-23T01:14:00.000-04:00

When Frankie, Floyd and I got to camp last week, I was very excited to show Cody all the cute pictures I had taken during our few days downstate. Of course, a half-full bottle of water decided to spill in my bag thus trashing all its contents-- including the camera. SWEET. Pictures are gonzo and I have to buy a new camera.

AWESOME.

What is that?? It surely can't be my fault that the bottle leaked. Is it bad luck? Faulty water bottle? Murphy's Law? I don't know, but I can tell you that my life seems to be governed by lots of laws lately, and as far as I know--they're not filed with the State of Michigan.

They all come from Princess Frankie and they go a little something like this:

Wherever you go, if you bring two diapers with you, I will crap myself three times.

When we go out, no matter what you bring me to eat, I will decide I don't like it anymore and it shall go on the floor. Oh, Floyd is not in the restaurant to eat my scraps? Not my problem.

If you forget to place a new diaper below my tushie when you are changing me out of the old one, I WILL PEE while you're changing me, it will travel under my butt and up my back, and it will thoroughly soak both the changing pad and the back of the new clothes you probably paid too much for just to have me pee all over them.

I will no longer give you any trouble when you put me down for my nap or at night, but I'm gonna get up at 6:00 am every morning. Deal with it.

There will be no water intake. Water sucks--Sippy cups suck. No stupid song you sing or "bop, bop, bop" on my nose with said sippy cup is going to get me to drink water. Stop trying.

No Shoes, No Service? I think not. I'm not going to wear shoes and I will get service.

Sometimes, just to keep you on your toes, I will fall asleep in your arms and when you put me in my crib I will "fake sleep" until you go to leave and then I will cry- HARD.

Right after you wipe my face and nose, I will sneeze and even MORE boogers and drool will come out.

If I feel the need for you to hold me, that will be precisely the same time that Floyd is ready to come in and he needs his paws wiped. You can't put me down though... Good luck with that.

I might give you hell when you put me down for a nap, but I'll fall asleep in the car in 2 seconds flat when we're on our way to dinner.

If I am ready to "High 5" you, you will accomodate my hand in the air, even if I'm looking to do it 50 times in a row. My "High 5's" will NOT be ignored. EVER. One must never ignore the "High 5."

By law I only poop in restaurants that don't have changing tables. That's just how it is. Your only options are to change me in a stall or let me stink up the restaurant. You will consider letting me hang out in my own poop while finishing dinner because your thoughts are hazy and your head will be is spinning from my Southern region stench. You will ultimately conclude that changing me in a cramped stall can't be nearly as bad as some of the places you were forced to change me in China, so you will go for the stall. The toilet will be equipped with an electronic flusher. You will put me down as gingerly as possible and bend over on the dirty, nasty floor (back will be killing you) --and you will sweat your ass off trying to change the explosion in my dipe, (all the while trying not to let my head touch the ground). Sweat beads will continue to build on your brow and in between your ta-tas. The flusher will go off incessantly because it is confused by all the movement and some of the toilet water will spray your back. As you try to pull apart baby wipes with one hand, you will curse your stall vs. stench decision, curse the restaurant for being too cheap to install a changing table, and curse all poop everywhere as the people hanging in the bathroom will glance at each other and ask themselves just what the HELL is going on behind our door...

I will only stay up coughing all night when we're home, and it's just you, and you have a meeting with a prospective new client the next day. I will never do that when we're at camp and Daddy is there to deal with it.

Just when you think you're done cleaning the kitchen, you will remember that you forgot to clean that "stupid high chair."

Squash that goes in will look exactly the same when it comes back out. (That is not a Frankie law--it's just a law).

You will leave a big tips at all restaurants to make up for me leaving tons of food around the floor of my high chair. As you apologize to everyone in the restaurant, they will tell you how cute I am and I will continue to throw whatever food, napkins or silverware I can reach that may still be left on the table.

I now make you laugh way more than I make you cry so you will herein abide by all the above laws until I decide to change them...and that will probably be tomorrow.

Does one size really fit all...?

2008-06-22T10:52:00.001-04:00

Michael Stars would have you believe that it does, but I can't say that I agree.

I started this blog before we left to get Frankie Jade because I thought it would be a good way to stay connected with our friends and family while we were in China. I stayed with it because, for Mother's Day, Cody had all the blogs made into a beautiful hardcover book that Frankie will have forever and I thought it would be cool for her to watch FuLan turn into Frankie along with the rest of us. Plus, she will have something to remember her Mom by one day when I'm gone. For me and my family, it has become a preservation piece that serves many different purposes.

I certainly don't expect the blog to serve the same purpose for everyone.
If you're into it, I love that, and I'm totally and completely happy to have you as a reader and friend.

This blog, however, is not for everyone. I never expected it to be. I didn't start writing it for that purpose. I'm not writing it for anyone but my kid. Hey, we all have good days and bad days; the blog has been a good outlet for me to reflect on both. I have come to realize that my tone reflects my personality and if you don't like me, (or know me) you might not be into it. I'm fine with that. One size does not fit all.

I don't expect to get comments on the blog, though they are certainly welcome and appreciated IF they are not fueled by negativity or bad energy. There was a comment made on the last post that prompted other readers to email me a common denominator question that I, quite frankly, was curious about as well:

WHO ARE YOU?
Your comment was so completely bizarro that even I was a bit taken aback. Clearly, you are not someone who knows me at all, or you wouldn't have said some of the things you said:

1. "Get some perspective, honey... Suck it up and be a mommy...a grateful mommy." Oh no you di-in't! You did NOT just say that to me! How in the world does a "venting" post that I am completely entitled to make me an ungrateful mommy? That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. WHO ARE YOU??? You don't know anything about me, my family or the lifestyle that we lead having Daddy gone for several months out of the year. I'm certainly not saying I have it harder than any other Mom out there--I'm not stupid, I know that is not true, but last time I checked, this is my blog and I'll cry if I want to. (And I wasn't even crying, most of it was said in jest.)

2. You understand that I am lonely? Hardly. I have Frankie, Floyd and tons of friends and family around who rock the house, but that doesn't mean that the adoption, the adjustment, the constant back and forth travel and the lifestyle haven't been hard on my marriage.

3. Louis Vuitton Bag? Um...No. Not my style (except for the sassy, red one that Cody got me several years ago when he told me he loved me for the first time).

I don't proclaim to be a professional writer or parent. I'm navigating new territory and making my way as best I can along with every other new parent out there. I think I'm pretty safe in saying that what we're all looking for is some support and understanding during this time.

If you feel like making a comment on the blog, I love to get them and Frankie will love them too one day, but please keep in mind why I'm writing this and who I'm doing it for. Anonymous comments telling me to "suck it up" really just don't jive with the rest of the blog setting and tone.

Frankie would definitely not give out one of her famous "High 5's" for that one.

Gimme some props...

2008-06-20T15:22:00.001-04:00

Hi Cody,

You are a good husband and I love you.

You are a good Daddy Warbucks and Frankie loves you.

We also love that you own an overnight camp for kids because camp is the bomb. You're not around at all from May until mid-September, but being Up North is great and we love being around all the counselors and kids. We love the pace, the food, the schedule and all the drama and gossip (especially because none of it is ever about us...) Camp is a large part of our lifestyle and the people there are our family.

That being said, there is a part of me that thinks that you owning an overnight camp for kids sucks donkeys.

It's a hard life for me.

Everytime I get back downstate for the few days I'm there--I work, do laundry, deal with um...EVERYTHING having to do with Frankie and Floyd, and before I know it, it is time to pack the car and get back up to camp. Plus, I can't come and go as I please anymore, I have to work around Frankie's schedule and even when she is finally ready, there is always something I have forgotten, a diaper that needs to be changed and a kitchen that needs to be cleaned (for the 50th time).

Also, Floyd smells. He's stinking up my car and house-- and trust me--the stuff he's rolling in ain't from the backyard at our house downstate. Uh Uh, brother--he's bringing that stench home from camp. Classy. He seems to dig it, but Mama don't.

Listen, I'm not complaining but...wait--oh!!

Yes, I am.

Hey, you know I love it. In fact, I defy you to find someone else to marry who loves camp more than me--and what's truly ironic is for how much I love it, it's so NOT me. I always thought I belonged in a place like NYC but instead I got dropped off in an alternative universe called Camp Tanuga where no one cares about fashion or make-up. I don't even get it. WHAT IS THAT??? (I hope Frankie doesn't drink that bug juice).

Bottom Line: It's a hard life for me while you're gone now that we've got a kid. It's all me and I want some props for being master single parent, juggler, organizer, packer and chauffer.

I'd also like a present.

I know that I just got Mother's Day presents and birthday presents but I don't care.

I want more.

Buy me something.

Love,

Your Baby's Mama

My job description needs to be revised:

2008-06-16T20:46:00.000-04:00

Frankie took a dump in the bathtub last night.

I mean, (sigh) come on. That is just wrong.

Who does that?

Here's the kicker--she did it again tonight.

Oh, COME ON, Frankie. The bathtub ain't your personal outhouse. Really...you can't save that stuff for when we're at camp and Daddy can handle it? Better yet...here's a thought...oh, I don't know...how about maybe slinging that mud so it lands in your dipe? Remember those days? Good times.

Let's (YOU) really think about revisiting the old crap-in-the-diaper days, because your current method of disposal really isn't thrilling me. OK?

You're cute and all but you're really pushing it, sister.

Near Death by Chocolate

2008-06-13T13:49:00.001-04:00

My birthday was this past Thursday.
You know how people say "I'm 37, but I feel 16!"
Yeah, well, I'm not one of those people.

Cody made sure I had a nice day filled with great presents and way too much cake.
Frankie tried to give me her own little gift of love, but it was soaked.
Floyd tried to commit suicide.

I know--I need to start from the beginning.
Ok, rewind:

For the last 6 years, I have gotten into a routine of coming up to camp on Thursdays and leaving on Sundays (my husband is part owner of a traditional overnight camp in Northern Michigan). My plans this week were to do the same. On Wednesday evening, around 5:00, I changed my mind.

Floyd and Frankie were all over me. I told them repeatedly that they were bugging me, but neither one seemed to care. I had one whining and pulling at my pant leg while the other was one was panting at my pant leg. Ugh. So annoying. Both of them. Frick and Frack. BEAT IT.

It was then I decided that it was time for Daddy to take over. After 10 days on my own, I realized I was D-O-N-E. Floyd, Frankie and I did a quick dinner and I got everyone ready to go. We were out the door in a little over an hour. Daddy-bound, yo. (Side note: Though it seems to take FOREVER to get out of the house these days, I have found that I gain some valuable crunch time by putting FJ in her car seat with the radio on while I pack the car, go to the bathroom, or do whatever. Frankie is safe and happy while I have about 5 minutes of "arm freedom.")

As I slipped into the driver's seat, I heard Frankie whining about who-knows-what. She had been fussy and irritable since I picked her up from daycare earlier in the day, and even in the car it took awhile for her to settle. Floyd was (as usual) in circles in the "way back" DYING to bark out of excitement, but opting for that muted dog whimper that makes me want to send him to "Shuttytown."

Now, normally I might care about all these annoyances afer a long day--but not tonight!
NO...no...no...
I was going to be at camp in 3 hours in 15 minutes and then, as far as I was concerned, I was going to be CLOSED FOR BUSINESS. We were on our way, baby. We're a-comin' for you, Daddy. It's all good in the hood. That song on the radio...Turn it up!!

Frankie was kind of restless on the way up. I thought for sure she'd crash after a long day of hard core playing at daycare, but she didn't. I didn't care. In fact, I was still in my "I don't care" mode when we got to camp. Frankie didn't go down until 11:00 at night, but I didn't care. I didn't even care when she woke up at 6:00 A.M. because after I got to her, I remembered that I was CLOSED, and you know what I did? I handed her to Daddy and I went back to sleep until 7:30. Oh yeah-- I did that. Cody had everything under control and besides, it was my birthday!

The day started off very nicely. We just acquired a nanny for Frankie for the days I'm at camp (so I can actually get some work done while I'm there) and I love her. She is from Australia and she's adorable. (See top picture). I'm thinking that Frankie Jade will be quite unique as a Jewish child of Chinese descent who speaks with an Australian accent. Is there even a "box" for that?

During lunch, I uncovered what I believe to be an "unintentional birthday present" from Frankie. When she was done alternating between eating her food and throwing it, I let her drink out of my water bottle. (Anything to get her to drink a little water). She seemed to be having a good time giggling and soaking her pants, so I let her do it until her pants were completely soaked with all the water that didn't make it into her mouth (most of it). A little while after lunch, I took a swig of water from that same bottle and felt something gross in my mouth. I spit it out into my hand and um...EW. My kid had decided to leave some bites of watermelon in my water bottle. How gross is that? Small, soaked, nasty chunks of watermelon. Yeah, I know. It was IN my mouth. Hello? Gross.

After I got over that traumatic experience, I spent the next few hours gathering presents, candy and "Happy Birthdays" from anyone I could. I stuffed my face full of cake and opened all my presents from Cody. It was a good day. Birthdays are good.

Floyd is not.

Cody waited until very late that night to tell me, (he didn't want to ruin my big day), but it seems my beloved stubby-tail rescue Golden Retriever thought it would be a good idea to celebrate my birthday as a "party for one" in the dry storage area in back of the mess hall. Cody just happened to be walking by only to find Floyd with his head in a huge bag of chocolate cake mix. He said that Floyd had already consumed quite a bit and when he turned to look at Cody, he had tons of chocolate dripping down both sides of his mouth. Cody freaked. Floydie is a big dog, but he had likely eaten enough to die. Thankfully, Cody and his partner worked fast. They called a vet and, as instructed, gave Floyd hydrogen peroxide with a syringe. Cody claims Floyd was throwing up the chocolate for quite awhile--and towards the end, for the finale, tossed up two corn cobs as well.

Today, Floyd is feeling much better, Frankie used a sippy cup at lunch for the 2 sips of water she took, and I was happily walking around camp proudly displaying one of my most fave bday gifts: my new necklace that says "CODY. FRANKIE. FLOYD."

They are my family. We are, undoubtedly, a spirited motley crue with no actual blood between us, but we are a very special, happy family...and for my 37th birthday, I can't ask for more than that.

But--make no mistake, I still feel every bit of 37. Every single bit of it.

Baby Steps

2008-06-09T20:25:00.001-04:00

Today was supposed to be Frankie's first full day of daycare.

I love Frankie's daycare. It's a home daycare and the woman that owns it is FAB-OO.

I have taken Frankie over there a few times (I stayed too) so she can get used to the environment and the vibe. She loves it. Not for one second did I worry that she wasn't going to love it. It's flippin' daycare: You play inside, you play outside, you nap, you eat, you snack. What's not to love? Sign me up!

The plan was to drop FJ off from 8:00 A.M. to 3:00 P.M. today. I solidified the plan with the owner, I sent her an outline of Frankie's schedule, I got a bag of Frankie's "stuff" all ready--I was set.

Until last night.

I got to thinking..."Is she really ready to eat breakfast, take a nap, and then eat lunch with people she doesn't know that well yet?" Yes, we've been there 3 or 4 times, but only for snippets of time. Is that enough? Frankie may be the happiest kid this side of the The Mississippi, but the truth of the matter is she was just adopted from a different country and she's been through a lot in the last three months. It has taken us awhile to get her little Frankie-ism's down, are other people ready for that?

Will they know that if she acts like she's not in the mood for oatmeal, all you have to do is put a cheerio on top of the spoonful, do the secret meal-time song, and that usually works? Will she be OK at nap time even though she won't be in her own crib? Will they know the little maneuvers you have to do with the sippy cup to get her to even THINK about taking a sip of water? --and even then she still only takes one to three sips!

Yes, I put this all in a note, but will they REALLY know these things?

Are they ready for Frankie?
Is Frankie ready?

HELLO???? AM I READY?

I decided late last night that I would take Frankie over after lunch instead of at 8:00 A.M. That way she could eat breakfast with me, nap at home and eat lunch with me before going. It was the right move. I felt very good about my decision. I think all day would have been too much. I think she needs to do daycare as she has done everything else--slowly.

I never thought I would be the Mom who wanted to spend the whole day with my kid, but as we were eating lunch today, it dawned on me just how much I was going to miss her. I was shocked. I mean really, what do we have in common? We don't like the same shows and she's not into fashion mags, we don't have much to talk about since she doesn't speak any language that I've ever heard of, and I'm constantly wiping her ass and her nose. What's the lure?

In a million years, I never thought I would have a hard time letting go. I was wrong. It was heartwrenching. I don't mind divulging that I cried all the way to work after dropping her off. (Thankfully I am not wearing eye make-up right now because I have some weird eye infection--probably from something Frankie gave me).

I know daycare is the best thing for Frankie because it will not only strengthen her social skills, but she will undoubtedly thrive in the positive, fun and supportive environment the caretakers have created. I also know in the end it will be the best thing for me because I will be able to work a fair amount of hours, and then I will then be able to give my full attention to Frankie. (Plus I'll have the cash to continue leaving big tips for all the food she throws around at restaurants).

I know all of these things to be true.
But just as it will take some time for Frankie to ease into it, it seems that I'm going to need some time too.

Here are 3 things...

2008-06-08T20:13:00.002-04:00

...that I find baffling:

1. Frankie has a runny nose and a cough. I have no idea how she got it but the only one it doesn't seem to bother is her. Why anyone LIKES having boogers running out of their nose is beyond me. She freaks when I go to wipe them off--like they're her friends or something. It's gross. I don't get it.

2. How can she LOVE to eat something one day, and two days later, it's the worst thing she's ever eaten and she's appalled that I would even try to feed it to her? Like all of the sudden she's a "foodie."

3. She consistently pushes the sippy cup of water away but loves to drink out of my water bottle. Most of it ends up on her shirt and by the time we're done, she looks like she's ready to enter a "Spring Break Wet T-Shirt Contest." HOT.

Dear Frankie

2008-06-04T20:40:00.003-04:00

Dear Frankie,

Why are you trying to send Mommy to the Cuckoo's Nest? Why? Mommy loves you. Mommy does everything for you. How can it be that you are the happiest kid EVER until it is naptime or bedtime? Yes, I know I am totally awesome and you don't want me to leave your room, but YOU have to sleep so I can sleep. That way I can continue my awesomeness. (I don't care if that's not a real word--I'm tired).

Really, honey--there is no reason for all this crying and drama. When they say "Save the drama for your Mama," understand this--they don't mean me.

You're tired. You need to sleep. (Can you try to sleep past 6:00 am while you're at it? That is just wrong to get up that early...why did you trade in 7:00 for 6:00? 7:00 was really way better).

I promise, you're not going to miss anything while you sleep. All I'm going to do is clean up all the messes you have made and get some work done because your expensive taste is putting Mommy in the poor house.

Thanks for the freebie last Sunday when we got home from Camp and you slept all night. Your four legged brother, however, decided that would be a fine night to wake me several times by throwing up all the food he consumed by way of his dumpster diving antics. If I never see corn again, it will be too soon. I was seeing it from both sides of you two for three days. THANKS.

Here is a bedtime lullaby for you:

It's time for bed, sleepy head

Daddy's not here, so please be a dear

And go to sleep, don't make a peep

There's no need to cry, I promise that I

Will check on you, at least one or two

Times in the night, so please don't fight

The sleep in your eyes, try and try

To save the crying and the screaming for when we get to camp and Daddy is there to deal with it!!!

Love, Mommy

Some Memorial Day Memories...

2008-05-26T10:43:00.002-04:00

I remembered to bring the camera to camp this past weekend (Memorial Day Weekend) so Cody could download all the new, fun pictures, but I forgot the battery. SMART. Of course, the camera was dead. I will bring it when I go back on Thursday.

In the meantime, Frankie, when you read this blog later, I'd like you to know of a few other "gems," from this past weekend--all involving you:

1. You used to hate fruit but now that's all you will eat. Everything else, as far as you're concerned, should be banished to the floor.

2. You know we don't like it when you throw food on the floor, because you blink real fast about 50 times in a row when we tell you "NO," but yet, you do it anyway...and not only that, but you do it while looking at us with this odd look on your face that says: "I know this is wrong, but really, what are YOU gonna do about it?"

3. You tricked me. You gave me two full nights of sleeping all the way through when we were at home, but made up for it when we got to camp. (Thankfully, two of the nights were on Daddy's watch). The last night when it was time for bed, you were a mess. You were screaming and crying (why, I have NO idea) and you couldn't be consoled. I think you had a night terror, I'm not sure. You were scary. It wasn't fun. You got me out of bed 4 times. I don't get it. You had a great day: You played, you stuffed your face, you went on a shopping trip to Traverse City with me and Fancy Nancy, everyone at camp made a big fuss over you, you took a nice stroll around camp in your sweet baby jogger--you had a stellar day, sister. What is the dealio?

3-1/2. Frankie's response to #3: "I'll get you out of bed 14 times if I want and you know you'll come when I call. Learn that and live that, Mamacita!" ...and of course...she is right.

4. You have recently decided that it's really fun to squirm around A LOT when you're getting your diaper changed. Stop it. It's annoying. You made me get some poop on me. Mommy is not into that.

5. Stop trying to fake us out when we're practicing with water in the sippy cup. We know when you're faking. Get this now, Frankie J: In order to get the very special "Coden Song and Dance" from Mommy and Daddy, we need to see a few REAL BUBBLES when you're trying to drink from the sippy cup. Contrary to what you may think--putting the cup in your mouth, taking it out, throwing your hand in the air while giving us a big smile will NO LONGER get you the "Coden Song and Dance." We fell for that one too many times. We're on to you.

You feel me?

HALLELUJAH!!!

2008-05-20T20:36:00.000-04:00

Frankie slept the WHOLE night last night!

She didn't wake up once--not even when I went in there at 2:00 A.M. and 4:00 A.M. to make sure she was still breathing.

How about this one though? Once, when I went in, I touched her leg to see if she was OK (I'm such a newbie) and she kind of kicked me away like I was bugging her. Oh--I'm so sorry, Ms. Frankie. So sorry to bother YOU while YOU'RE sleeping.

Fingers crossed that we have another good night tonight.

You know we won't.

You know she'll get up 4 times in order to make up for last night.

She is so like that. I don't know where she gets it.

Is that Grandma I see?

2008-05-19T14:10:00.004-04:00

I am so tired that I'm seeing dead relatives (some that I don't even like very much).

It was really nice for Frankie J that Cody came home for the weekend, but it turned out to be pretty rough on me. He is such a good Daddy that she had absolutely no desire to stick to our regular nap time routine. When it's just me, she goes down usually without a problem--when Cody is home she goes down, but pops right back up looking to party. I felt like I was playing with a "Jack in the Box."

The middle-of-the-night-wake-up-crying was the worst though. We're stuck in that weird place of "do we let her cry it out, or do we continue to foster attachment and go to her?" Cody wanted to let her cry it out but I just can't do it. Oh no...don't go thinking I'm so nice that I can't bear to hear my little girl upset, no...no...I can't do it because I CAN'T FREAKIN' SLEEP WITH ALL CRYING AND SCREAMING GOING ON!

In truth, there is a part of me that thinks we should continue to go to her for at least another month, then it will be 3 months that she's been with us. I'm just not ready to let her cry for too long yet. However, believe you me, faithful readers--when that day comes in one month, I'm going to buy her a baseball and a mitt because you know we gonna play some hardball. Oh yes, Ms. Frankie Jade, your days of room service are numbered. Yo mama needs her sleep!

Of the four food groups, where does chalk go?

2008-05-17T16:32:00.003-04:00

Frankie and I had TWO knock-down-drag-out fights yesterday.
She won both.

The doctor was stressing me out the other day about brushing her teeth. I know I'm supposed to brush them after she has milk. I know they will get nasty if I don't. I know I'm a sucky mom because I need a break from making her do new things so I have been letting it go...I know, I know...but OK, you know what? YOU BRUSH THEM.

Since this kid has been adopted, I feel like we've had to get her used to so many foreign things and she's finally at a point where's she's over most everything: We're good on the car seat issue, the high chair issue, the stroller issue, the bottle issue, the formula issue, the bath issue, the clothes changing issue, the grocery cart issue, and almost all other issues she has had to contend with since being adopted...and you know what? You may find this hard to believe, but I really haven't stressed out too much about anything--except the bottle thing in the very beginning. Other than that, I figure everything will happen when it happens, but the teeth brushing thing...well that just isn't going to happen. That is something I have to make happen, and as far as Ms. Frankie J is concerned--it ain't happening.

I don't really know why she hates it so much, but she really hates it. The crying is scary, and annoying because, Hello??? I'm just trying to brush her teeth. OOOOOOOOH. Child abuse.

Fight #2: Water.
The doc also told me the other day that she's supposed to be getting 4 oz a day. To that FJ says: "WHATEVER with your 4 oz a day, Dr. Blah Blah--water sucks." She's not into water. What can I tell you? I figure she'll grow more accustomed to it as time goes on, but in the meantime, she will not be placing many orders for it.
I have tried various temperatures
I've tried all different kinds of sippy cups and bottles
I've let her drink from my water bottle and glass
Yes, to everything...
She'll do a little bit of everything, but there is no way she's getting through 4 oz a day. My next move is to put her in front of Floyd's water bowl to see how that works out.

So, what about the chalk episode?
I put Frankie in the car for a quick trip to Barnes and Noble. I noticed nothing unusual as I strapped her in... until I did something that made her smile. As her lips started to part, this crazy fushia colored drool started coming out of both sides of her mouth. It was kind of scary (though strangely pretty at the same time--I wish my drool was fushia!) Anyway, I started to freak out, threw out a big "What the HELL-lo??" pried open her mouth (insert crying here) and pulled out little pieces of what appeared to be... you guessed it: chalk.
Gross.
Kids are freakin' gross.
I mean, who eats chalk? It's not even good.
But, other than a very cute outfit ruined--no real harm done.
At least none that I can see so far. :)

Reality Check in Floyd's Food

2008-05-15T07:07:00.001-04:00

I think the sleep deprivation has finally caught up with me:

This morning I poured Floyd's water into his dog food instead of his water bowl.

Even he looked at me like maybe I had lost it a little.

Thankfully, he is a non-judgmental dog.

Vaccination Day

2008-05-14T14:58:00.005-04:00

Frankie had her vaccinations today. The China paperwork we received claimed she had them all, but we had heard that sometimes they "water down" the vaccinations to make sure they have enough for all the kids in the orphanage, soooooooooo we had a "Titers" blood test drawn 6 weeks ago to make sure. It turned out her tank was on empty when it came to the Chicken Pox vaccination and the Prevnar vaccination.

Side Note: Since when is there a Chicken Pox vaccination? I thought it was a rite of passage for kids to get the Chicken Pox! Chicken soup and calamine lotion, missing school and watching daytime TV, itching and scratching --hello???? No more of that?

Anyway, Frankie J (who is now up to 20lbs) was a champ. She really was. I, however, was thinking that it might be a good idea to leave hot pokers in the waiting room so the parents could put them in their eyes during the process. That might hurt less than watching your girl do the "scream-cry" while being held down against her will.

I do believe that my friends who said it would "hurt you more than it will Frankie" were right though. I was crying right along with Frankie, but I think she stopped first. How about this though? My mom was crying too! (She came with me since Cody is at camp). She said it brought back memories of me getting my shots all those years ago.

I guess it just never ends... Great. SU-PER.

Frankie is working her way up Henri Bendel...

2008-05-12T21:35:00.001-04:00

...by starting at Saks.

Tonight we met one of Frankie's "Aunts" for her birthday dinner at Somerset Mall. We went a little early so we could hit Saks on the way--(I mean, as long as we're there...right? It's like blasphemy NOT to go, don't you think?) It was Frankie's first time and she made herself quite comfortable in moments- oh yes, my girl was in her element. I was only so mad at myself for forgetting the camera. The spring and summer clothes were on display, everyone was going ga-ga over Frankie, and all was right with the world.

As we drove home after the hustle and bustle of Saks and the salads and chocolate cake at J. Alexanders, I couldn't help but think of the very scary and very major earthquake that hit China today (not far from where Frankie is from). I also couldn't help myself from telling my daughter how lucky she is. I'm sure it won't be the first time. I don't think she was listening-- I'm sure it won't be the first time for that either.

PS. The photo above is not from tonight. I just like it because I want to bite those cheeks so badly! (She's sleeping right now... otherwise, trust me, I would).

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

2008-05-10T20:12:00.004-04:00

This year, for the first time ever, people started forwarding "Mother's Day emails" to me. Of course, I have had no time to read them because since Sunday night I have been on my own with Frankie and Floyd.

Yep. Just me. Just me, Frankie and Floyd Coden. That's it.

No Cody--he's at camp.

How did we do? I think we did OK. Here's how it went:

We were at camp for the first time last Thursday-Sunday to spend the weekend as a family before leaving Cody there for the summer. It was a great weekend. The ride up, however, SUCKED.

Cody left early Thursday morning and we left several hours later. I didn't know what to expect, and for the first hour-- it was great. Frankie was sleeping, I was jamming, and Floyd was just breathing hard. Floyd knows I-75 means "camp weekend," so he pretty much breathes hard 75% of the trip. He then allots 20% of his time for this annoying type of dog whimper that means that he wants to bark but knows I will kill him if he does, and the other 5% is allotted for the actual barking he slips in for major occurences like really big trucks or other dogs. Those of you who have had the pleasure of a ride up to camp with me know what Floyd is like in the car. It's...well...it's an experience--but I'm used to it and it was fine. We were doing fine.

Until Frankie decided to wake up.

She woke up crying. NOT FUN. It wasn't too loud at first, but it quickly ascended into simultaneous crying sprinkled with screaming. Then the screaming took over and the crying started to dissipate. Of course, that's when a car with a big dog pulled up in the lane next to us so then I had crying, screaming AND barking.

SWEET DRIVING EXPERIENCE.

After about 20 minutes of the "PLEASE KILL ME NOW" symphony going on in back, I pulled over, calmed everyone down, did a few shots of Tequila and got back on the road. (Just kidding about the last part).

We finally made it to camp and everyone just breathed. It was so nice to be back Up North. There really is no place like it, especially Camp Tanuga (shameless plug). Floyd was happy to be back with his buddies on a zillion acres of land and water (wet dog--YUMMY), Cody was ready to get a jump start on the season, and I could R-E-L-A-X. Frankie basically drooled and smiled all weekend. I honestly don't think she ever stopped smiling except when she was crapping her pants, and even then, through her contorted, red face of sheer determination, there was a faint smile of accomplishment.

This is how our weekend went: We ate, we hung out, we spent time with good friends, we read magazines, we ate, we played, we ate, we walked, we ate, we shopped, we ate, we hung out some more, ate some more, shopped some more, rinse and repeat. It was a stellar weekend.

But then we came home, without Cody. It was just US.

I had some help on Monday and Tuesday until 3:00, so I could go to work, but from Tuesday at 3:00 until Friday at 3:30, it was just us until Cody arrived for the big Mother's Day weekend. (Ok, Ok, one of our friends, Mr. Brian Aaron, who is more like family, came by for about and hour and half on Thursday so I could shower and do a little work without interuption-- but other than that--yeah...JUST ME).

I actually think I had most everything under control. I even thought I was doing fairly well and I was having a lot of fun (except when Frankie cried, which is--thankfully-- not often). I managed to stay on top of the laundry, the bottles, the meals, the feeding, the changing, the diapering, the baths, the moods, the spit, the "this," the "that," and all things Floyd.

I really think I did OK at the single mom thing. It's the single mom thing mixed with the working-full-time-at-home-and-at-the-office-while-doing-all-the-Mom-stuff-thing that is not so easy. I felt that Frankie was only getting 50% of me and work was only getting 50% of me, but I must say, I had a killer week at work and Frankie seems happier than ever, so I must have done something right. Right?

Now Cody is home until Monday morning and it's Mother's Day weekend. (Please note that I am making him do pretty much everything while he is here, but whatever--he is awesome at it and he missed FJ like crazy).

We survived our first stint of the summer without Daddy and yes, I miss sleeping, and exercising, and showering, and reading, and breathing...but I can not believe how much I love being a Mom. I love being a mom to Frankie. I think she is just the coolest kid ever. She's fun and funny and changing every day. It's all happening so fast. She's already growing out of some of her clothes. What is that about?? She has only worn some of the things once, and others not at all!! Plus, I swear, her cheeks are also getting bigger, it's the craziest thing--it's like someone shoved a tennis ball on either side of her mouth. I think she is hiding furniture in those things.

I absolutely love being a Mom and I'm excited for my first Mother's Day. Plus, I know we're going to have a fun day tomorrow and I get a present because "someone" sent Cody an email link (anonymously, of course) to a great gift idea for me.

This is a very important weekend to all the Mother's out there and though I haven't had the time to read all the forwarded emails this week, one of my close friends brought one to my attention so I gave it a quick whirl. I'm glad she made me read it, though I didn't get much farther than this line: "This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes."

That line hit home and I knew why she wanted me to read it.

I'm sad for the woman in China who gave birth to Frankie because I know it couldn't have been easy giving her up. I won't assume that anyone reading this knows what is currently going on in many parts of China, Child Labor Rings Reach China's Distant Villages , and I don't know what would have happened to Frankie if the woman who gave birth to her didn't give her up, but I have to believe that she has a much brighter future here with us.

I hope that brave woman all those miles away can sleep safe with the knowledge this Mother's Day that her child is being mothered with all the love there is to give. Admittedly, this Detroit Mama may not know what the hell she is doing, but she's doing her best.

I hope she knows Frankie is safe, loved and getting chunkier by the day--and to her I say "Happy Mother's Day" because she was a good mother for letting Frankie go.

And to all you mother's out there-- I say "Happy Mother's Day," to you because I know you're good moms too. But not as good as me, because I'm freakin' awesome.

Just kidding.

I'm totally clueless. I just thought I'd end on a light note.

Coden Club Med--Detroit

2008-04-28T16:10:00.000-04:00

I have been staying at the Coden Club Med in Detroit for about a month now so I thought I'd send a postcard to ya'll. I must say, it is very awesome here and the accomodations are first rate. I get fed everytime I turn around (and not just crappy baby food--they give me good stuff too). I get bathed, massaged and lotioned...toys are everywhere, closet is full and I'm totally into the dog. I love Floyd, he is my fave. I am livin' like a rock star in this joint and Mommy and Daddy are essentially my slaves. They come when I cry, wipe my butt when I poop and shove a bottle my way about 5 times a day. Rock ON.

I'd also like to say that I'm done crying about everything. It was beginning to bore everyone so I decided to just let go and enjoy the ride.

I'm done being upset about the car seat, now I jam in the car with Mommy. I think her voice stinks but I let her sing. When I'm able to talk I will tell her to "zip it." Until then, I am learning many new English words from Eminem so keep bringing the tunes, Mamacita!

I'm done being upset about the stroller, but I have noticed that Mommy gives me these gerber treats that she calls "baby crack" when we take Floyd for a walk. I wonder if she does that to shut me up. There was this one time we were walking I cried the whole way home and everyone in the neighborhood heard me. I'm much happier (and quieter) with my treats, but I'd probably be OK without them. I'm not going to argue with her though--they're good and she's buying.

I'm done being upset about the high chair. IT RECLINES. It would be nice if they understood that "bababa..ba...ba!" means get me the remote, unbutton my jeans and put on "American Idol," but again...when I learn to talk...

I'm done being upset in the shopping cart. Yes, I had a few freak outs, I admit it. One time (oh this was great)...One time I had such a freak out that some random lady asked Mommy if she "needed help." YES! All because of me! It was hilarious. I almost stopped crying to laugh, but don't worry, I didn't. I kept crying. Now Mommy uses this pink thing for me to sit on and it's really comfy. I don't cry anymore--and if I start, she shoves one of the "baby crack" treats my way. It's a win-win. You know me: First Class Frankie all the way, baby!

I'm done being upset about pretty much everything. It's hard not to be happy here. I even wake up happy. They're trying to get me into a routine but I fight them on naps. Do you blame me? Turkey, Cheese and Cheerio All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet on the Lido Deck-- Laughing Learning Toys on the Fiesta Deck. Too much going on here--no time for naps!

Sometimes I sleep all through the night but not usually. I was having some really bad night tremors for a few nights, but the "google freaks" I live with got some info online and they seem to have cured me of those, at least for now. Now I just wake up when I want to party or when I have a diaper full of pee. Wouldn't you? "Hello??? Housekeeping? Please come and change my diaper!"...and one of them always comes. Didn't I tell you? First rate.

I went from not crawling or sitting up to doing both in one day. Save it, I already know that I'm brilliant.

Something else I learned...I'm Jewish. Yeah, they threw that one at me right before Passover. I'm ok with it though. There are no presents on Passover, but the food is really good. On the night of the second Passover Seder, I got to sit at the head of the table and the food kept coming and coming. At one point I was stuffing my face and crapping my pants all at the same time! Jealous? We Jews sure know how to party...

I also had my 1st birthday not too long ago. Mommy and Daddy took me for Chinese food. They think they're SO funny....

They had a very small birthday party for me at the house (I am still a bit overwhelmed by large crowds) and I think I did pretty well. I am much more comfortable with smaller groups but my Mommy says that is OK because she is like that too. Not only do we look EXACTLY alike but it seems we are alike in other ways too!

I got my first taste of cake at my birthday party. They gave me a humongous cupcake. Mommy and Daddy were a little skeptical of how I would react because I always push away pears, applesauce, bananas...anything sweet, but let me tell you, after my Mommy took off my shirt and let me go for it-- I DESTROYED THAT CUPCAKE. Again, I am my mother's daughter--good match China people who matched us! Poor cupcake didn't even see it coming. I tortured it. I ruined it. I made an example of that cupcake and all other cupcakes better beware. I needed another bath when my parents finally tore me away. Don't worry, before Daddy whisked me off to the bath, I told the remains of the cupcake to heed my warning...I WILL BE BACK.

All in all, I have to say I'm rockin' in D-town. We're leaving for Daddy's camp on Thursday. Mommy's freaking that I need new clothes for that place. WHATEVER--that lady loves to shop, Daddy I and just roll our eyes at her. She's already shopping for a new kid, talking about getting some kid from some place called Sierra Leone so he doesn't become a child soldier, or I think I even heard her mention she wants a girl from India so the kid doesn't get sold to a brothel. What's the deal? Freakin' Joliewannabe in da house! My Daddy and I both think she's nuts but he just says "Ok, honey" and I say: "Iye Yay Yay!!!"

Hope you're all doing as well as I am!

FJC Out!

We made it!

2008-04-01T07:31:00.001-04:00

We're home!

Ok, let's see....where do I start? Oh, I know--how about the night before we left for the airport to come home? THAT WAS A FUN NIGHT! Since we had a 4:00 a.m. wake up call to get to the airport, I figured I would go to sleep at 10:00, Cody came in about 10:30 and all hell broke loose. Frankie decided to scream bloody murder (for this I blamed Cody, of course) and she was pretty thorough about making our lives miserable for the rest of the night...probably because she knew we needed to be up so early. From what Cody says, she finally went down around 2:30 and we woke her up at 4:00. Well, there's a night I hope I get to do again soon (NOT!)

When we got our act together, we schlepped over to the GZ airport with The Simpson Fam and Peter. It was raining (of course, why wouldn't it be?) and yucky out. All went well at the airport and we got on our first flight: The GZ to Tokyo flight. IT SUCKED. Frankie was in full-on Crankie Frankie form. Don't get me wrong, I didn't blame her, I just wanted her to zip it. I am pretty confident everyone on the plane hated us. We were in first class (thanks, Cody--I know we're broke) but even that wasn't enough for FJ. Thankfully that flight was only about 4 hours and we made it to Tokyo.

Tokyo airport: Beautiful...Love it. Beautiful girls and hot guys working there. (I know, I know...I usually don't go for the Asian guys, but there were some hot-tays working the Tokyo airport!) Also, I would like to add that the female airport outfits are really cute--they wore these great scarves, I wish they sold them there. Insert lots of security checks, many tedious lines, and a crying baby and you're in for a super fun day. We finally got on the plane and I knew the worst was over. Even if FJ cried for 15 hours, I didn't care. We were in FAT ASS first class. (Again, thanks Cody...YES, I KNOW WE ARE BROKE). We had a few of the same flight attendants from the trip to Tokyo and they remembered us. They were dying over Frankie. Once she figured out she was in high class, first class--she made herself REAL comfortable. We promptly started calling her "Frankie First Class."

I have to say, she did really great and that's a long flight for anyone, even for people our age who don't poop in their pants anymore. We got comfortable and the food, drinks and snacks kept coming. It was awesome. The chairs reclined all the way back so we actually got a little sleep. Cody made a little bed for Frankie on his lap and she even fell asleep a few times. The best is that each seat had its own TV and Cody found Baby Einstein for Frankie. I wish you could have seen her. It was hilarious. I thought she was going to try and GET IN the screen at times.

She had one teeny crying episode on the plane and that was it. The funny thing is, one of the guys sitting by us was sleeping and she woke him. He gave me a dirty look because, apparently, now I am "THAT mom with the annoying, crying baby," and he is "THAT guy who paid a fortune for his first class seat." Well, what he didn't realize is that I am "THAT mom with Frankie Jade Coden as my crying baby." When the flight finally landed several hours later and we were all gathering our luggage, the same guy had to get his bags which were over by us. "Frankie First Class" landed a raspberry on him that was not to believed. It was legendary. That's just how my girl rolls. Who loves her?

We finally made it to D-Town and did the immigration/customs thing (for the 100th time) and Miss Frankie Jade Coden, the Asian Sensation, got her stamp of approval and become an American Citizen. We got our stuff, found my mom and Jimmy, (who were waiting with a "Welcome Home" poster, balloons) and we got the hell out of dodge.

Could we have been more tired? I don't think so. We were, however, so happy to be home and we were very excited to see Cody's parents and my dad who were waiting at the house. Plus, I could not WAIT to see Floyd.

Now, I have been really good about not doing shout outs for people on this blog, but I must recognize a few who really went crazy for our homecoming: Michael Nagler, Nancy Clark and Debbie Michelson--we LOVE you guys. Our house was (and still is) decorated in such a way that Nate Berkus would have been proud. (I can NOT believe I just used an Oprah reference). The signage is amazing and the balloons are way fun. I still smile everytime I walk into a room that has been decorated by you guys. Thank you and we all love you.

So, what's it like being home?

It is different everyday.

We are totally winging it. I will say the jetlag is really a killer. I had no idea what we were in for. Our days are nights and our nights are days. It's bad enough for us, but trying to get FJ on a schedule is just brutal. We just recently found out that the jetlag is supposed to last 2 weeks. Well, after 4 nights of no sleep, or the nerve racking kind when you just start to drift and crying ensues, Cody let me sleep in our room while he slept in the guest room. We are now doing "nights on" and "nights off" switching every other night so at least one of us sleeps. Whoever sleeps in the guest room (by Frankie's room) is on duty. The other person is on the other side of the house in our bedroom. I hate not sleeping with my husband, but sleep is GOOD.

As for the 2 week thing-- I think we can beat it. I have no patience for that. 2 weeks with little to no sleep? Um...NO. NEGATIVO.

Some new normals for us:

Dinner is at 6:00

Bedtime is at 9:00

Should we just buy our condo at La Boca Vista and go for our early bird special now?

We are learning more and more about Frankie Jade every day. We have found that the first few times she tries something new, she is not into it and the crying is very dramatic (and sometimes quite impressive) Strollers, high chairs, rockers, car seats (especially car seats) ALL BAD. Does it matter that she has high-end EVERYTHING? No, it doesn't. Is there anything good enough for Swankie Frankie? No. Jeez....she is tough.

We are very slowly bringing in new people for her to meet. For now, we are mostly family because when it gets to be too much, the fingers go in the mouth, the smile ceases and she just shuts down. It makes me sad when that happens because she is so much fun normally.

She LOVES Floyd. I was really worried about that but she LOVES him. She had a really bad day her first full day home, uncontrollable crying for most of the day, and at one point I found Floyd running over to her and just sitting with her while she was wailing. At that point, I even broke down and started crying--it was really that cute. He is not really a barker, but when he does, she is not bothered by it. The car seat is the enemy though--go figure. Women.

We love her more everyday. She is really very cool and very funny, and it's exciting to see her becoming more and more "our kid" as the days pass. (That must be why she is so awesome, right?). Cody is the best dad ever and she goes ga-ga whenever she sees him (I do too, so I get that).

I can't wait to get into a normal routine and on a schedule but I know I have to be patient (NOT my strong point).

Let's see what else?

Motrin is my friend
Cloth bibs are way more comfy (and effective) than the vinyl ones

I feel like I'm constantly "cleaning up."

Cheerios are not for eating, but for throwing on the floor for Floyd

Taking Frankie's hand to her foot is really funny (we're still not sure why but we love hearing her laugh)
Sometimes poop is so powerful that it can't be contained by any one diaper. It just has to ooze out of the sides

"Bling" rules and it's great for pulling and tugging
Frankie Jade smiles could end tension in the Middle East--they are THAT cute
Getting up at 3:00 a.m. to a kid who wants to play for 2 hours is fun ONLY for HER.
Anyone who said Floyd would take a back seat was wrong. We love and need him more than ever.

Showers that last more than 37 seconds are...well, they are pretty much non- existant

The Laughing Learning Dog toy is the best invention, second only to disposable changing pads ("Go Green" on everything else--fine, but please don't deny me the disposable changing pads)

Everything smells like poop. YOU will smell like poop to me

E TV and VH1 have been replaced with Playhouse Disney. I now know some of the songs by The Wiggles. "We're doing the Flap now..." Yeah. Uh huh. ROCK ON.

Grandparents rule--especially Frankie Jade's grandparents.
Even though bath time is supposed to be "clean," it can prove to be very messy--and wet!

Sometimes formula burps smell like they come from the back end instead of the mouth.

Baby food sucks but paper tastes good

White socks and shirts are stupid for an 11 mos old, but yet I keep buying them. What does that make me??

When Fray J wakes up with a smile on her face, it makes the long nights a distant memory...almost.

9:00 p.m. is the new 11:00 p.m.
I am STILL in desperate need of a manicure

Thanks again for coming along for the ride. I know the journey is just beginning and I hope you stick around even though we might not get to see you right away. We're so happy to have you in our lives and I know each and every one of you will make Frankie's life very special in your own way. As for me, I think I smell another poop...Where's Cody???

Love you all,

R, C and Fray J

Farewell, China!

2008-03-27T01:44:00.000-04:00

Last day! We leave at 6:00 am tomorrow morning for our flight to Tokyo so I'm thinking this might be our last post, at least in China.

Little Miss Asian Sensation had a party here last night. She woke up crying around midnight looking for a diaper change and the all-you-can-eat-midnight-buffet. We fed her, changed her and hung out with her awhile (we have to, right?) and finally she gave us a break and went back to sleep. I noticed today that the dark circles under my eyes are turning a fabulous shade of blue, unfortunately the color is not so great ON MY FACE.

After our last breakfast buffet today, we took the "Red Couch Pictures" with the Norris' and the Simpsons'. It's unreal--Frankie Jade couldn't be any cuter when she is in the room with us--she smiles, she laughs, she "talks," she blows tons of raspberries, but as soon as we walk out the door, her fingers go in her mouth and she shuts down. It could be behavior that is symptomatic of living in an institution, it could be that she is shy (doubt that), or I guess it could be that we are just so freakin' awesome that she only wants to be with us. When we got back to the room after the pictures, I tried to tell her, (as she was rolling around smiling and laughing) that the three of us can't be in this room all the time. I told her that we have to go out sometimes and mix with the outside world. Her response: She blew raspberries in my face.

Nice.

Cody packed for much of the day and we had every intention of running out and grabbing some lunch, but of course, that is when FJ decided to take her nap. No biggie, there is this great gourmet "deli" connected to the hotel so I went down and came back with plenty of food (and some desserts too)-can't miss a meal, you know me!

After lunch, I did my last minute shopping (for the third time) before changing Frankie into her "Consulate Appointment Outfit." Yes, she had a new outfit for her big day...and she looked super cute. The busses were loaded up with all the families who needed to go and we were off. We weren't allowed to take cameras so I have no shots, but it all went very well. A very personable American guy led the ceremony and went over all the details. He explained that as soon as our kids touch American soil, they are American. So cool! Then he had everyone stand up and take the oath. I wish I could remember how it went but I suck. I was just too excited to really pay attention. Since the guy had us repeat after him, I didn't have to think too much. I just knew we were going to be a family very soon and I was elated.

The best part was when the guy leading the ceremony asked everyone to raise their right hands and repeat after him. As soon as he said it, Frankie decided to blow a huge raspberry. Everyone around us was cracking up. It was so funny. She is seriously too much. The timing was perfect. Do you just love her? When he was finished Cody and I kissed (we didn't make out, it was like the kiss you do when you get married), and then we kissed Frankie who was still blowing raspberries. We were a family in the eyes of China at that moment. Now we just have to get home so America can recognize us as well.

We had a great dinner tonight, all three families. We ate at the hotel in this really beautiful restaurant. I ate so much, you would have thought I was going to the chair. I swear, I need a lazy Susan that is turbo charged. The ones in China just don't move fast enough for me. The best part: Wendy got a cake (yay--cake!!!). It was a really great night. We said our good-byes to the Norris' after dinner and exchanged many hugs. It was hard to hold back the tears. They are family now and I'm going to miss them tremendously. The Simpsons' are going with us to the airport tomorrow so we'll have to say good-bye to them tomorrow. That won't be pretty. I can't believe how close I feel to these people. We had the trip of a lifetime with them and I hope we all keep in touch.

Cathy, Amelia and I ran out after dinner to make sure there wasn't anything we missed in the stores. Of course there was and we bought it. I'm not sure what happened to my budget but don't worry, VISA took over where the yuan left off.

Before I sign off, I know I speak for Frankie and Cody when I say that we really appreciate you guys hanging with us during our adventures in China. We loved getting all your comments--the comic relief, advice and support meant the world to us. For those who weren't able to leave comments because you were blocked, or you just couldn't figure out how to do it, thank you for sending us emails. We know you're out there and we loved hearing from you. I know I've said it before, but it was not easy being in a foreign country very far from friends, family and Target with a new baby. You all made us feel a little closer to home and we will never forget your positive energy and endless encouragement. I don't understand why no one sent Floyd though. I can NOT wait to see Floydie!!!!

I'm a little nervous for the two long flights that lie ahead because I know they won't be easy. It's not just us anymore, we have a new addition (and she cries). That being said, I also know we'll get through the flights, security and customs as we do everything else, and quite frankly, I can't imagine doing it with anyone else. All of the reasons I love my husband are the same reasons that brought us to Frankie in the first place. I don't know of anyone else who would have done this with me, and I don't know anyone else I'd rather do it with.

We're coming home with a new Coden and I know you guys are going to love her. Thank you, in advance, for giving Swankie Frankie (and us) some time to get back on our game and get over our jetlag (the 12 hour difference may not be easy). We promise that she is worth the wait!

Oh, and she said to let you know that she likes presents.

I have no idea where she gets it.

She really has no shame.

Love you guys,

R, C and Frankie Jade Coden

Last Free Day

2008-03-26T08:28:00.000-04:00

Yesterday (Wednesday) was our last free day. We have our Consulate Appt today at 2:40 and the rest of the day will be devoted to packing and picking up any last minute items. We are also going to put Frankie in one of her new Chinese dresses and take the famous "White Swan Red Couch Picture." The photo is a tradition amongst families who adopt from China and stay at this hotel. Frankie will take her picture with Cameron the Stud and Catherine the Beautiful. I'm thinking Cameron in the middle of his lady loves. Hot, right?

We put FJ in a stroller for the first time yesterday. Not fun. I have decided that no matter what it is, the first time Frankie tries it, she doesn't like it. (She's a little glass half empty that way). She had her wail-on for quite some time when we were riding her around. Cody and I just don't get it. We are completely baffled. Anyone want to weigh in? I mean, who doesn't want to be driven around town, maxin' and relaxin? We could not figure out what was wrong. What could make her cry so much? Admittedly, the stroller was borrowed from one of the stores around the hotel. Was it too low budget for Princess Frankie? Is she just too used to being carried around in the ergo by me and Daddy Warbucks? Did she want to push and let me sit in it? I seriously have no idea how this little girl became so high maintenance in a little over a week...I just don't know...

Anyway, we worked through it and she eventually started smiling again. As we were walking around the park, I noticed that there were lots of groups of people, kids and adults, playing hackeysack. The next thing I know--my husband gets in on one. He rocked it out! He played for awhile so of course I made him buy the hackey. Come on, you can't take up 15 minutes of the guy's time and then give him the "Ok, thank you!" without buying what he's selling. That is just mean.

I also took the liberty of taking a few public bathroom pictures. One of them is posted above. Doesn't it just make you want to redecorate all of your bathrooms at home?

That's really about it for our day yesterday. I got to do the rest of my shopping (in case you were wondering) because there will be no time today, Cody came with me for some and hung out with FJ in the room for some, and we had a nice, outdoor dinner at Lucy's Restaurant with the Norris' and the Simpsons'. (Banana splits and dancing included).

Today is our last full day here, we're homeward bound soon! We're excited to get home and start another new phase with Frankie, we're excited to see Floyd and all of you, and we're excited that Terrell Pryor is going to be playing for the Buckeyes instead of UofM(well, I am).

We love and miss everyone. We should have some good Consulate and Red Couch pictures tomorrow. Hang in with us for one day...

XOXO

Just Chillin' in the Guange...

2008-03-25T19:57:00.000-04:00

We had a much welcomed lazy day yesterday. I think we were still recovering from our Chinese Kareoke night the night before. We got home late (9:00 is now late for us) but had a blast. This place that we went to with The Simpsons was really cool. I think it was 4 floors and each floor was made up of private rooms. Each room had it's own big screen and kareoke machine so basically, you can make a fool out of yourself privately. There was a huge buffet of food and dessert on each floor too. Frankie got up and sang "Oh, Mandy" with me and Cody--of course we changed the words to "Oh, Frankie." We partied and pigged out with our new friends. Is there anything better?

Our lazy day yesterday consisted of the early morning bottle, the "FJ roll around" and the much anticipated "pea soup poop." We then ventured to our daily buffet breakfast. (I am going to miss all these buffets). We spent the morning walking around the GZ blowing through my budget. At one point I sort of hinted that some of the items are indeed presents and aren't actually for me or Frankie. Cody took the bait and felt bad. He even threw a little extra yuan my way--we love Cody.

I am happy to say that my daughter is now the proud owner of Chinese outfits that range from size 2 past size 14. (She even has more than one in some sizes which helps to explain how a budget can be blown here). We also got her a few pairs of the famous "squeaky shoes." You guys, these shoes are so funny. She can't wear them yet because she's not walking, but I crack up every time I see a kid walking around with them. They squeak when you walk. I'm fairly confident they will drive Floydie out of his mind (and all other dogs in the general vicinity).

I would also like to make a note that I am working hard to get good deals here. The girls keep telling me "best price for you" or "discount for you"...who am I not to believe them?

At lunch FJ perfected the art of "raspberries" and had a great time blowing them in my face. She was so into it. It was a veritable CSI crime scene--DNA everywhere--love it. (There is a pic above). She also leaned back and gave me my first kiss. Loved that even more.

At dinner (do you think we base our days around our meals?) the Frankster decided to throw a total "Frankie Fit" in the Thai restaurant. But really, what would dinner be like without that? Thankfully the place was really loud and loaded with kids so no one paid any attention to us. She had a very wet diaper so I tried to take her to the bathroom to change her. Um...NEGATIVE. I...don't....think...so. Gross me out the door. No shot was I changing her in there.

I promptly took her back to the table and got Cody out of his chair. We made a makeshift changing table right there (the chairs were padded--it's like they knew we were coming)!

Wendy helped us hold her steady and you know it--we changed that diaper right there at the table. Sexy AND classy!

Somehow we ended up in one of the stores on the way back to the hotel where I bought something--who can resist the "best price for me?"

While FJ discovered how funny her own feet can be back at the room, Cody was out looking for dessert. He brought us back some Haagan Daz ice cream and cake. How fun is that? (Note: This did NOT come out of my budget). We tried to give Frankie some ice cream but she just isn't into taking food yet. She slams her bottle like she's ready to do a freakin' keg stand, but she just won't take food yet. Whatever--more ice cream and cake for me. I'm not worried: If she's anything like her mommy, everyone better watch their plates when she gets going.

Tomorrow is the big day so we're going to take it easy again today. Tomorrow Frankie Jade Coden will be "sworn in" at the Consulate. Cody keeps telling her not to lie like Kwame. I hope she makes it through with a smile and a wave good-bye.

D-Town News:

2008-03-24T23:54:00.001-04:00

I'm a putz.

Fussy Frankie FuLan

2008-03-24T09:29:00.000-04:00

Yeah, she may look cute in that picture but it was "Fussy Frankie Day" today in the Guange. I'm going to estimate that she had about 30 meltdowns total today and I plucked about 12 grey hairs tonight (NOT COOL).

After another "stuff-your-face-while-taking-turns-holding-Frankie-big-buffet- breakfast," all three families ventured out to the Jade Market area. Prices are high and the vendors didn't really want to bargain. My "allowance" was burning a hole in my wallet and I really wanted to get FJ something for when she is older. I found nothing that I loved (so frustrating). We finally decided on buying a jade stone and having something made at a later date for Frankie at home. Brilliant! Custom... I do loooooove custom. :)

The meltdowns started this morning and continued sporadically throughout the day. Why, you ask? WE HAVE NO FREAKIN' IDEA. Kid has eaten, butt has been wiped, she's definitely not sick, diapers are changed every minute...

Is she becoming high maintenance? Yes.

It is from hanging with me too much? Probably.

Do we feel bad for Cody? Definitely.

We had a brief reprieve from the "Eye Yie Yies" and wailing while walking around the Jade Market (probably because she knew I was looking for her) until we got to the restaurant for lunch. I was in the bathroom squatting away China style (still can't get used to that) and when I came out, there was FJ, wailing away on Daddy. We calmed her down enough to stuff our faces with more dim sum (insert weight gain here) and after lunch Cathy and I took off for a little unsupervised shopping. (The guys gave us 45 minutes and we used up every minute of it). I found some really cute stuff for FJ and I was very excited to get back to her, but when I got there--it was wail session number I-don't-know-what.

Cody was DONE (and you guys know what he's like when he's done--eye yie yie!). It was definitely time to go back to the hotel. We finally got a cab and of course she was wailing like we were beating her for the whole ride back. I seriously thought the cab driver was going to throw us out of his cab. (We tipped very generously, and you know I made sure it didn't come out of my budget).

We lived through a couple more inexplicable and inconsolable meltdowns back in the room until finally I threw down the "Listen, we haven't signed all the papers yet, Sister Sledge...quit pushing us..." and that seemed to quiet her down for the moment. Unfortunately, I can really only use that line until our Consulate Appt on Wed. After that, the Codens will be sucking it up.

It was still beautiful out tonight so we walked over to an outdoor restaurant about 5 minutes from the hotel for dinner. John, Wendy and Catherine the Beautiful showed up and hung out with us, we suffered through another Cranky Frankie meltdown or five and that was that. Cody carried her back to the room and I followed them until I found myself in one of the shops on the way back to the hotel (seriously, how does that happen??)

Back in the room it was bath, bottle, taps and bedtime. I still haven't mastered the towel off after the bath. How do you do it? Do you lie her on the bed? Do you prop her up? Do you put the towel down and just roll her like a canolli? What's the deal? I keep thinking she's going to pee on me if I don't do it fast and get a diaper on her. I gotta tell you, I've been peed on by the Frankster and I'm not so into it.

Ok, hope you all have a good Monday. It's bedtime here and Cody is out cold on the couch. I don't want to bug him. Can one of you come here and wake him up?

Frankie, Frankie, you're so fine...

2008-03-24T05:13:00.000-04:00

...you're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Frankie!

So, Cody put me on a budget.

A LOW BUDGET.

I'm not happy. Frankie isn't happy either.

We don't like budgets, especially low ones.

Thankfully there isn't a Bendel here cuz if there was mama would be throwing a Frankie Jade meltdown.

I have noticed that if I say that something is "for Frankie," that seems to be OK.

Go figure. :)

Cheer Up, Frankie

2008-03-23T19:39:00.001-04:00

We're sorry you're not having fun with Mommy and Daddy...is there anything we can do to make your stay here more comfortable?

Easter Sunday

2008-03-23T01:58:00.000-04:00

Here are some things I know to be true on this beautiful Easter Sunday in the GZ:

I miss Floyd.

I need a manicure.

Chinese food is awesome, but the desserts are weak. (That, however, hasn't stopped me from eating them). China is in desperate need of some bumpy cake.

Poop can sometimes look like split pea soup.

Boogers are endless.

Knives are shiny and enticing, but they aren't great toys.

Hair is for pulling.

It's OK to pee on Mommy's jeans.

It's fun to pull Mommy's shirt and bra back so everyone can get a look at her boobies.

Daddy's nose is the best toy ever made next to paper place mats or disposable changing pads.

We are having the time of our lives with Frankie Jade Coden and we can't wait to get home so you all can take a bite!

Snake in the bed...

2008-03-22T09:46:00.001-04:00

That beautiful little Diva is Amelia Simpson (Future camper, I hope). She is our 6-year-old traveling companion, Jake and Cathy's daughter, and I'm totally into her. She, however, thought it would be a fun prank to put a rubber snake in our bed--on MY SIDE. I'd say that was a big mistake. BIG MISTAKE. She messed with the wrong person! We have plans for her, don't you worry. I told her to sleep with one eye open...putting a snake in my bed. Are you kidding me??

Check out her new little brother, Cameron. Do you love him? "Yeah, waiter--get me a scotch and soda, on ice with a twist."

We all went to this crazy, good dinner tonight with Jake's brother who is in town from the UK. We had a great time and I think I speak for everyone when I say I hit the "I just went up a size" wall. Good thing we got to do a little dancing in the restaurant!

Cameron sat with Catherine the Beautiful at dinner tonight. Frankie says she was OK with it, but I'm sure she was a little jealous. Cameron is a stud. It's not easy being him.

Cameron, check out the pics of Swankie Frankie--see what you were missing, buddy.

Some pictures to hold you over...

2008-03-21T23:49:00.000-04:00

It's a rainy day in the GZ today so I have some time to send over a few good pics. As cute as she looks, she is THAT much cuter in real life and when she smiles...seriously, forget about it. For a baby who wouldn't eat, do you love how she is trying to get to my water bottle? I feel bad when I drink water out of a bottle around her, but there is no way I'm going to drink out of the faucet here. You think the water in Mexico is bad? Pa-leez, China water can kick the ASS of Mexico water.

Also, have we told you about the "Eye Yie Yies" yet?

That is the " Cranky Frankie Cry."

"Eye yie yie..." she sounds like an old Jewish woman who just found out there is no more Coral colored lipstick at the Boca Raton CVS. "Eye Yie Yie..." it's the funniest thing (except at 4:00 am--then not so funny). The best is when she is REALLY dramatic about it and puts her hand to her forward: "Eye yie yie...Eye yie yie." I know I'm not able to express it over this blog, but I'm sure you'll hear it eventually.

Frankie had her medical exam this morning and she did great. All three of the babies in our group did great. It was really fun in the humid, sweaty, crowded medical rooms with kids and crying babies everywhere. We all thought for sure we were going to be stuck for about 3 hours but we were in and out in about an hour and a half. We are free for the rest of the day but I think we're going to hang in the room...do a little room service and maybe watch a movie. It's yucky outside and Frankie is enjoying her "naked time" right now. I'm sure she'll crash soon but no doubt before she does we'll hear a little "Eye yie yie..."

Ne Hao!

2008-03-21T09:10:00.000-04:00

This blows.
We have so many awesome pictures that I am dying to share but the computer is running so slow, I can't take it. It is just taking too long to upload them and I'm too tired to wait. I will try to get them posted tomorrow, for sure.

I wanted to check in to tell you guys that we are really doing great. It has been a whirlwind of craziness here these last few days but we are rockin' and rollin'. We are having the best time. I can't believe that we have the same kid from just a few days ago. She changes so much in a day, it's crazy. Two days ago I put her on her tummy and she threw a tantrum, now she is not only on her tummy, but she is rolling over and all over the place. She's smiling and cooing and YOU WILL MELT WHEN YOU MEET HER. You will just want to eat her. (But don't OK? We just got her).

In the last few days, our group has gone to the Super Walmart in Chongqing--(that was an experience!!--It's overwhelming enough in that joint but Hello?? No one speaks English and everything is in Chinese! I was sweating my a$$ off looking for Peter--our guide-- to help me translate things), we walked through the Panda Bear Exhibit (so, so cute), and we've eaten so much that whenever I think of the people who claim they lost 5-7 pounds on this trip, I just laugh and throw down some more dim sum.

Yesterday was our most favorite day. All three families met up with our guide, Peter, after breakfast to go on the cable car ride in Chongqing. I almost didn't go because I'm a wuss, but John (who I love, from our group) talked me into it. I'm glad I went, it was actually really fun. After that we all walked around the Chongqing market area just shopping and browsing. The best part of the day (and the trip so far) was when the families stole the Concierge from our hotel and we all went to the Ming Dynasty Market Place. I don't know the actual name for the area so let's just call it that. IT WAS AWESOME. We all had a blast. Kathy, Wendy and I did some MAJOR power shopping and we were all amazed by the old temples and structures. It was one of the coolest places I have ever been. We all loved it. I bought Frankie so much stuff!!! (And maybe a few things for myself).

Since last night was our last night in Chongqing, Peter picked out a great restaurant, came out with us, and did all the ordering. I for sure ate everyone under the table (shocker) and the food was amazing. Frankie even sat in a high chair for the first time ever. She wasn't into it at first, but she had one leg on the table and was sporting her classic "stripper position" in no time. My girl has no shame, I swear. It's great (and very impressive) that she can do the splits, but I think Cody would be a little more comfortable if she kept it within the confines of our hotel room...

Today we all left Chongqing after breakfast to fly back to Guangzhou. Frankie and the other babies (Cameron and Catherine) went on their first plane ride with their new Chinese passports. Frankie has a passport, how crazy is that? Her picture is so cute. She looks very "mod" in her black sweater. I wish I had some white earrings and go-go boots for her. Shee did great on the plane--we were a little worried, but she rocked it out Frankie Jade style.

We're back at the White Swan in GZ, but in a suite this time. It's not nearly as nice as the hotel room we left in Chongqing, so we have decided that we are spoiled (Is this new?) I am missing certain things like the buffet at the other hotel, Cody misses the kitchen area and size of our old suite, and Frankie is just happy to be with us. We asked her tonight, when she was rolling around on the floor clad only in her diaper--with toys everywhere cooing and smiling, if she wanted to go back to the orphanage and she threw some stink eye our way.

We have been working really hard on getting Frankie into a routine (and it's working). She is the happiest baby I have ever seen. Cody is so in love with her, I think he has forgotten about me. I will really try and get some good pictures uploaded tomorrow.

Love and miss you all. We love the comments. Have I told you that? XOXOXO

Daddy's little girl

2008-03-20T08:54:00.000-04:00

I'll leave the clever blogging to Robyn. I just want to say that she is worth every second that we had to wait........She is my little girl!!!!!